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A Good Friday Devotional

07 Friday Apr 2023

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I won’t spend many words of my own on this post. I’d like to point to a few passages of Scripture and a hymn to aid your thoughts of the Lord Jesus and His death on the cross in the place of sinners. My goal is simply to introduce these passages for your reading, meditation, prayer, and praise. Let the Scriptures speak to you of the death of our Lord.

Scriptures: Psalm 22, Isaiah 53, and Matthew 27

Hymn: Stricken, Smitten, and Afflicted

Psalm 22 Good Friday devotional death of Christ

Psalm 22

Psalm 22 is a Psalm of David, where he expresses in vivid terms his own anguish and hope in the Lord. The details of suffering match the crucifixion of Christ more than anything that we know of David’s own experience. Jesus cried out from the cross, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me?”–the opening line of the Psalm. David, inspired by the Holy Spirit, hinted at the sufferings of Christ, the promised Son of David, about 1,000 years before He arrived on the scene.

Here is Psalm 22 in its entirety (read the text with footnotes Here):

1 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
    Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning?
2 O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer,
    and by night, but I find no rest.

3 Yet you are holy,
    enthroned on the praises of Israel.
4 In you our fathers trusted;
    they trusted, and you delivered them.
5 To you they cried and were rescued;
    in you they trusted and were not put to shame.

6 But I am a worm and not a man,
    scorned by mankind and despised by the people.
7 All who see me mock me;
    they make mouths at me; they wag their heads;
8 “He trusts in the Lord; let him deliver him;
    let him rescue him, for he delights in him!”

9 Yet you are he who took me from the womb;
    you made me trust you at my mother’s breasts.
10 On you was I cast from my birth,
    and from my mother’s womb you have been my God.
11 Be not far from me,
    for trouble is near,
    and there is none to help.

12 Many bulls encompass me;
    strong bulls of Bashan surround me;
13 they open wide their mouths at me,
    like a ravening and roaring lion.

14 I am poured out like water,
    and all my bones are out of joint;
my heart is like wax;
    it is melted within my breast;
15 my strength is dried up like a potsherd,
    and my tongue sticks to my jaws;
    you lay me in the dust of death.

16 For dogs encompass me;
    a company of evildoers encircles me;
they have pierced my hands and feet—
17 I can count all my bones—
they stare and gloat over me;
18 they divide my garments among them,
    and for my clothing they cast lots.

19 But you, O Lord, do not be far off!
    O you my help, come quickly to my aid!
20 Deliver my soul from the sword,
    my precious life from the power of the dog!
21     Save me from the mouth of the lion!
You have rescued me from the horns of the wild oxen!

22 I will tell of your name to my brothers;
    in the midst of the congregation I will praise you:
23 You who fear the Lord, praise him!
    All you offspring of Jacob, glorify him,
    and stand in awe of him, all you offspring of Israel!
24 For he has not despised or abhorred
    the affliction of the afflicted,
and he has not hidden his face from him,
    but has heard, when he cried to him.

25 From you comes my praise in the great congregation;
    my vows I will perform before those who fear him.
26 The afflicted shall eat and be satisfied;
    those who seek him shall praise the Lord!
    May your hearts live forever!

27 All the ends of the earth shall remember
    and turn to the Lord,
and all the families of the nations
    shall worship before you.
28 For kingship belongs to the Lord,
    and he rules over the nations.

29 All the prosperous of the earth eat and worship;
    before him shall bow all who go down to the dust,
    even the one who could not keep himself alive.
30 Posterity shall serve him;
    it shall be told of the Lord to the coming generation;
31 they shall come and proclaim his righteousness to a people yet unborn,
    that he has done it.

Isaiah 53

Isaiah 53 is another prophetic Old Testament passage that gives incredible detail about the Suffering Servant–the Messiah Who would come not only to rule as a King after David, but to suffer for His people, being “crushed for our iniquities” and “justify[ing] the many.” This is the passage the Ethiopian eunuch was reading when Phillip came to him, explained the gospel, and he believed (see Acts 8).

Here is Isaiah 53 in its entirety, one of the most obvious descriptions of Jesus Christ in the Old Testament, written some 700 years Before Christ. (Find the passage with footnotes Here.)

1 Who has believed what he has heard from us?
    And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?
2 For he grew up before him like a young plant,
    and like a root out of dry ground;
he had no form or majesty that we should look at him,
    and no beauty that we should desire him.
3 He was despised and rejected by men,
    a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief;
and as one from whom men hide their faces
    he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

4 Surely he has borne our griefs
    and carried our sorrows;
yet we esteemed him stricken,
    smitten by God, and afflicted.
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions;
    he was crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,
    and with his wounds we are healed.
6 All we like sheep have gone astray;
    we have turned—every one—to his own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
    the iniquity of us all.

7 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,
    yet he opened not his mouth;
like a lamb that is led to the slaughter,
    and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent,
    so he opened not his mouth.
8 By oppression and judgment he was taken away;
    and as for his generation, who considered
that he was cut off out of the land of the living,
    stricken for the transgression of my people?
9 And they made his grave with the wicked
    and with a rich man in his death,
although he had done no violence,
    and there was no deceit in his mouth.

10 Yet it was the will of the Lord to crush him;
    he has put him to grief;
when his soul makes an offering for guilt,
    he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days;
the will of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.
11 Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see and be satisfied;
by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant,
    make many to be accounted righteous,
    and he shall bear their iniquities.
12 Therefore I will divide him a portion with the many,
    and he shall divide the spoil with the strong,
because he poured out his soul to death
    and was numbered with the transgressors;
yet he bore the sin of many,
    and makes intercession for the transgressors.

Matthew 27:11-66

Here is Matthew’s account of the crucifixion. Notice especially the detailed connections to Psalm 22, and consider both the details and the theological implications of Isaiah 53 as you read. (Find Matthew 27:11-66 with footnotes Here.)

Jesus Before Pilate

11 Now Jesus stood before the governor, and the governor asked him, “Are you the King of the Jews?” Jesus said, “You have said so.” 12 But when he was accused by the chief priests and elders, he gave no answer. 13 Then Pilate said to him, “Do you not hear how many things they testify against you?” 14 But he gave him no answer, not even to a single charge, so that the governor was greatly amazed.

The Crowd Chooses Barabbas

15 Now at the feast the governor was accustomed to release for the crowd any one prisoner whom they wanted. 16 And they had then a notorious prisoner called Barabbas. 17 So when they had gathered, Pilate said to them, “Whom do you want me to release for you: Barabbas, or Jesus who is called Christ?” 18 For he knew that it was out of envy that they had delivered him up. 19 Besides, while he was sitting on the judgment seat, his wife sent word to him, “Have nothing to do with that righteous man, for I have suffered much because of him today in a dream.” 20 Now the chief priests and the elders persuaded the crowd to ask for Barabbas and destroy Jesus. 21 The governor again said to them, “Which of the two do you want me to release for you?” And they said, “Barabbas.” 22 Pilate said to them, “Then what shall I do with Jesus who is called Christ?” They all said, “Let him be crucified!” 23 And he said, “Why? What evil has he done?” But they shouted all the more, “Let him be crucified!”

Pilate Delivers Jesus to Be Crucified

24 So when Pilate saw that he was gaining nothing, but rather that a riot was beginning, he took water and washed his hands before the crowd, saying, “I am innocent of this man’s blood; see to it yourselves.” 25 And all the people answered, “His blood be on us and on our children!” 26 Then he released for them Barabbas, and having scourged Jesus, delivered him to be crucified.

Jesus Is Mocked

27 Then the soldiers of the governor took Jesus into the governor’s headquarters, and they gathered the whole battalion before him. 28 And they stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, 29 and twisting together a crown of thorns, they put it on his head and put a reed in his right hand. And kneeling before him, they mocked him, saying, “Hail, King of the Jews!” 30 And they spit on him and took the reed and struck him on the head. 31 And when they had mocked him, they stripped him of the robe and put his own clothes on him and led him away to crucify him.

The Crucifixion

32 As they went out, they found a man of Cyrene, Simon by name. They compelled this man to carry his cross. 33 And when they came to a place called Golgotha (which means Place of a Skull), 34 they offered him wine to drink, mixed with gall, but when he tasted it, he would not drink it. 35 And when they had crucified him, they divided his garments among them by casting lots. 36 Then they sat down and kept watch over him there. 37 And over his head they put the charge against him, which read, “This is Jesus, the King of the Jews.” 38 Then two robbers were crucified with him, one on the right and one on the left. 39 And those who passed by derided him, wagging their heads 40 and saying, “You who would destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days, save yourself! If you are the Son of God, come down from the cross.” 41 So also the chief priests, with the scribes and elders, mocked him, saying, 42 “He saved others; he cannot save himself. He is the King of Israel; let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in him. 43 He trusts in God; let God deliver him now, if he desires him. For he said, ‘I am the Son of God.’” 44 And the robbers who were crucified with him also reviled him in the same way.

The Death of Jesus

45 Now from the sixth hour there was darkness over all the land until the ninth hour. 46 And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” 47 And some of the bystanders, hearing it, said, “This man is calling Elijah.” 48 And one of them at once ran and took a sponge, filled it with sour wine, and put it on a reed and gave it to him to drink. 49 But the others said, “Wait, let us see whether Elijah will come to save him.” 50 And Jesus cried out again with a loud voice and yielded up his spirit.

51 And behold, the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. And the earth shook, and the rocks were split. 52 The tombs also were opened. And many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised, 53 and coming out of the tombs after his resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many. 54 When the centurion and those who were with him, keeping watch over Jesus, saw the earthquake and what took place, they were filled with awe and said, “Truly this was the Son of God!”

55 There were also many women there, looking on from a distance, who had followed Jesus from Galilee, ministering to him, 56 among whom were Mary Magdalene and Mary the mother of James and Joseph and the mother of the sons of Zebedee.

Jesus Is Buried

57 When it was evening, there came a rich man from Arimathea, named Joseph, who also was a disciple of Jesus. 58 He went to Pilate and asked for the body of Jesus. Then Pilate ordered it to be given to him. 59 And Joseph took the body and wrapped it in a clean linen shroud 60 and laid it in his own new tomb, which he had cut in the rock. And he rolled a great stone to the entrance of the tomb and went away. 61 Mary Magdalene and the other Mary were there, sitting opposite the tomb.

The Guard at the Tomb

62 The next day, that is, after the day of Preparation, the chief priests and the Pharisees gathered before Pilate 63 and said, “Sir, we remember how that impostor said, while he was still alive, ‘After three days I will rise.’ 64 Therefore order the tomb to be made secure until the third day, lest his disciples go and steal him away and tell the people, ‘He has risen from the dead,’ and the last fraud will be worse than the first.” 65 Pilate said to them, “You have a guard of soldiers. Go, make it as secure as you can.” 66 So they went and made the tomb secure by sealing the stone and setting a guard.

Stricken, Smitten, and Afflicted

This is one of my long-time favorite hymns. It ties a lot of themes together from the passages we’ve read above. Consider these words and sing along, meditating on the Lord and His work, with praise and thanksgiving. (These are the lyrics from the Trinity Hymnal, find more details Here.)

1 Stricken, smitten, and afflicted,
see him dying on the tree!
‘Tis the Christ by man rejected;
yes, my soul, ’tis he, ’tis he!
‘Tis the long-expected Prophet,
David’s Son, yet David’s Lord;
by his Son God now has spoken:
’tis the true and faithful Word.

2 Tell me, ye who hear him groaning,
was there ever grief like his?
Friends thro’ fear his cause disowning,
foes insulting his distress;
many hands were raised to wound him,
none would interpose to save;
but the deepest stroke that pierced him
was the stroke that Justice gave.

3 Ye who think of sin but lightly
nor suppose the evil great
here may view its nature rightly,
here its guilt may estimate.
Mark the sacrifice appointed,
see who bears the awful load;
’tis the Word, the Lord’s Anointed,
Son of Man and Son of God.

4 Here we have a firm foundation,
here the refuge of the lost;
Christ’s the Rock of our salvation,
his the name of which we boast.
Lamb of God, for sinners wounded,
sacrifice to cancel guilt!
None shall ever be confounded
who on him their hope have built.

Here are two good lyric videos so that you can sing along:

May you be blessed and encouraged as you consider the Lord Jesus today and celebrate His resurrection this Sunday!

Books Read in 2022: Christian Thinking and Life Management (and one Just for Fun)

25 Saturday Mar 2023

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Here’s another installment of my micro book reviews for 2022. In my last post, I shared the books I read for our homeschool. This time around, I’ve collected my 2022 reads on Christian Thought as well as Life Management (and a bonus category Just For Fun).

Christian books theology life management book reviews

Christian Books on Theology, Practice, Philosophy, or Education

On Christian Teaching by Augustine This was probably the oldest work I read last year, aside from Plutarch and the Bible. Writing in the fourth century, Augustine lays out some important guidelines and considerations for teaching–with applications for education in general and for the study and teaching of the Scriptures. Augustine’s ordering of loves (ordo amoris) is incredibly edifying, explaining how all earthly loves can and ought to be turned into the stream of love that we have for God most of all. He also addresses some classical education practices and suggests how Christians ought to approach them. I found reading Augustine to be more approachable and edifying than I had anticipated. I can see why his writing has stood the test of time.

Let Me be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot This was a re-read of a beloved book. Elisabeth Elliot is one of my all-time favorite authors. Given the crazy confusion of our time, it was good to be immersed in a book that celebrates being a woman—and being a godly woman at that. Let Me be a Woman is a collection of short chapters written to Elliot’s daughter, making her prose both warm and candid. Here’s a particularly poignant quote about worldly attitudes toward women:

Women’s work, particularly the task assigned by Creation exclusively to women, that of bearing and nurturing children, is regarded not only as of lesser value but even degrading and “animal-like.” This is a hideous distortion of the truth, and an attempt to judge women by the criteria of men, to force them into an alien mold, to rob them of the very gifts that make them what they were meant to be. To subject femininity to the criteria of masculinity is as foolish as it would be to judge meat by the standards of potatoes. Meat would fail every test. For women to assume an esatz [or artificial] masculinity means that they will always lose.

Let Me Be a Woman, P. 151

Turns out women also lose when men assume an “esatz” femininity. But I digress…

Christian Reflections (essays) by C. S. Lewis I have to say, Lewis is right up there with Elisabeth Elliot as one of my favorite authors. I bought this book initially for Lewis’ essay on “Historicism,” which I very much enjoyed. I’ve read many of his books: The Chronicles of Narnia (series), The Screwtape Letters, Mere Christianity, A Grief Observed, The Great Divorce, The Four Loves, The Abolition of Man, and That Hideous Strength. But this is my first read through a collection of his essays. Lewis has an incredible ability to evaluate the past and see where things are headed in days to come. I don’t always agree with his take on everything (his essay on “Church Music” being a good example), but he sure does make me think. Here are some of my favorite essays from this collection: “The Poison of Subjectivism,” “Historicism,” “The Psalms,” “The Language of Religion,” and “Modern Theology and Biblical Criticism.” So many of the problems we see today are the fall-out of ideas that Lewis confronted in his day. I think this makes his writing essential reading. Start with Narnia (at least The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe) and Mere Christianity, especially if you need to strengthen your reading muscles. But do work your way “further up and further in.” You will be rewarded for doing so.

First Principles: Becoming a Disciple by Geoff Reed My husband and I hosted an outreach Bible study last year using this first book in the First Principles series. We covered the gospel, baptism, and the call to renew our minds in God’s truth, which stands in stark contrast to the ideas and values of the world. It was a great study, digging into one Bible passage for each lesson, as well as offering discussion questions and commentary. One thing that sets this book apart from other Bible studies is the heavy emphasis on both discussion and follow-through. The questions make you think and examine the Scriptures without feeling like an exercise out of an academic textbook. There is ample room for taking your own notes and recording your own questions to bring to discussion. And the sixth and final lesson in the book asks you to look back over the first five lessons to restate what you’ve learned, ground it in the Scriptures, pick a verse or passage to memorize, and set some goal or intention for your life going forward. A lot of studies have little assignments with each lesson and then just plow ahead. This one makes you sit with what you’ve covered a bit more–and challenges you to really apply it before moving on. Because simply gaining academic knowledge of God’s word isn’t what we’re after–we want to respond to it properly, applying it to our lives with the help of the Holy Spirit and in fellowship with other believers who can hold us accountable.

The Essential Means of Grace by Paul Washer I have appreciated the teaching of Paul Washer since my college days, but this is the first book I’ve read by him. It was a short but meaty and refreshing read, covering our relationship to God through the Scriptures, prayer, repentance and confession, and the local church. Highly recommended. Only 71 pages.

Messiah: Prophecies Fulfilled by D. James Kennedy My husband read this to us in December as our Advent devotional. It was a good overview of Old Testament prophecies about Jesus Christ, the Son of God. My boys are in 7th and 5th grade, and it was a good fit for our family, though there was a reference to infant baptism, which we do not practice, so we simply and briefly discussed that with our kids. (Links are to a newer version of the book than we own.)

Life Skills/Management

Do More Better by Tim Challies I started 2022 off listening to this audiobook. Challies has some good principles for productivity that were helpful to me, and for a season I tried his process for managing tasks in ToDoist. I fell off of that specific application, but together with the books listed below, I think this has been a help to my focus and life management this past year.

Essentialism by Gregg McKeown This was recommended by a friend last spring and I snagged it on Audible. I wish I had a hard copy, because I think there are some diagrams that would be helpful, especially to review. At any rate, I loved this book. It urges you to really ask the important questions—what matters most? What is most essential? And then it challenges you to live by that. It’s not a Christian book, but it is Christian-friendly.

Effortless by Gregg McKeown This is the follow-up book to Essentialism. I’m not sure “effortless” is really what you get out of it, but the author does help you think through applying the principles of essentialism more thoroughly to your life. It was a good listen (again, audiobook). I will probably revisit both of these books sometime soon—maybe even this year. I think they’ve helped me a lot.

Cozy Minimalist Home by Myquillyn Smith I found this delightful book at an “extras” bookstore on our long drive home from a trip to Florida. Why have I never read a book on decorating before? I’ve been a homemaker for fifteen years, for crying out loud! Anyway, I’m glad I read this and glad to have some principles and guidelines for making décor decisions for my home. Cozy + minimalist is really a great combination, putting people above stuff, but also not putting bare minimalism over people. The author is apparently a Christian, so the decorating advice is well-ordered and not at all about putting on a show or keeping up with the Joneses.

Don’t Overthink It by Anne Bogel This was a fairly helpful book. As I listened to the audiobook, I kept finding myself wishing that the author would have dealt with the spiritual side of worry/overthinking. Instead all she did was give positive tips and tricks. All of which are helpful, but it’s just not the complete picture, and I had hoped for better from an author who is a professing Christian. Tips and tricks don’t fix my trust-in-God issues. All that to say, this was a profitable listen, but not nearly so much as it could have been. This is a your-best-life-now kind of book, and needs to be balanced by biblical truth.

Ploductivity by Doug Wilson Speaking of biblical truth, there’s a lot of it in this little book (again, for me, audiobook). I was surprised to find a lot of discussion on technology—even a theology of technology. This book was far less about tips and tricks and processes and far more about our assumptions and beliefs about technology, work, etc. A very good read, especially after having finished Don’t Overthink It and finding it wanting in the theological department. That said, I don’t share Doug Wilson’s Presbyterian eschatology, which does come out in the book; but that is a small part of the whole, and it was interesting and edifying to listen to nonetheless.

Just for Fun

The Inimitable Jeeves by P. G. Wodehouse This was my second-ever Wodehouse read. I liked The Code of the Woosters better, but this book was fun, too. I read it at the beginning of 2022 and can hardly remember what happened in the story…Bertie gets himself in trouble and Jeeves has to help him out of it, but some of that trouble is caused this time by his even-more-pathetic friend, Bingo. This one is more serial while all of Code of the Woosters unfolds from Bertie’s accidental pinching of a cow creamer. It’s hard to beat a cow creamer for ridiculous and memorable comedy. So if you want to enjoy some good laughs and British humor, you know which one I’d recommend.

That’s a wrap for today! What are your favorite Christian theology or Christian living books?
What books have helped you to manage life well?
I don’t seem to make much space for fun, comedic reading, but I find it refreshing when I do–what about you?

For more Books Read in 2022:
For Homeschooling
On Marxism and Black Christian Perspective (coming soon!)

Resting on God

31 Tuesday May 2022

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I’m in the midst of a rather busy season. We still have three weeks left in our homeschool year, but summer, with its mowing, gardening, and adventuring, is already in full swing.

As the work picks up outside, mess and clutter build up inside, too. New projects create new piles, and sometimes it’s hard to walk through the house without tripping over something.

I might like to have my plans accomplished and tied up with a bow, but that doesn’t happen very often. I might like to have my whole house cleaned and organized at one time–even just the first floor all at one time!–but that feels like a distant dream and not a soon-to-be-had reality.

So when I sat at my desk to pray this morning after sleepily popping a couple pans of baked oatmeal into the oven, I gave thanks for all I could. And then I pulled out the Valley of Vision and read a prayer, one that happened to speak to me ever so sweetly even as it prompted me to speak to God. I would reproduce it here for you, but I want to respect copyrights, so I’ll link to it instead. The prayer is titled Resting on God. I hope you’ll find it an encouragement like I did.

As I roll up my sleeves and get busy with the day’s work, I’m going to try to keep these truths at the forefront of my mind. Join me?

The mind of man plans his way,
But the Lord directs his steps.

Proverbs 16:9

The counsel of the LORD stands forever, The plans of His heart from generation to generation.

Psalm 33:11

My soul, wait in silence for God only,
For my hope is from Him.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
My stronghold; I shall not be shaken.
On God my salvation and my glory rest;
The rock of my strength, my refuge is in God.
Trust in Him at all times, O people;
Pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us. 

Psalm 62:5-8

Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

Jesus in Matthew 11:28-29

Books Read 2015-2016

15 Thursday Sep 2016

Posted by in Books

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I’m a little late in posting this, but here are the books I’ve enjoyed over the past year (June to July).  I hope you’ll enjoy some of them, too.

Embracing Obscurity by Anonymous  No, this isn’t a book written by the infamous group Anonymous, it’s a book written by a Christian author who decided to practice what they preach.  I found this to be a great read, challenging the pride and selfish ambition that I wrestle with from time to time.  A great read for any disciple of Jesus, but perhaps especially for those in or pursuing some form of leadership.  I heartily recommend it.

Own Your Life by Sally Clarkson  Do not come to this book expecting a Bible Study.  It is most definitely a self-help book.  If you come expecting something along the lines of John MacArthur, you will be disappointed.  If you come expecting the fluff and gospel-neglect of Joel Osteen, you will be very, very pleasantly surprised by the God-glorifying, scripture-filled content that Sally brings.  I don’t mean this as criticism, but since many of my friends are in Christian circles that prefer books that read like bible studies and may have an aversion to self-help books, I’m trying to give you a perspective from which to approach this book and really appreciate it for what it is.  Sally makes many assertions that are more philosophical than they are directly backed up by scripture.  She herself writes much more like a philosopher than like a Bible teacher.  She borrows a lot of language from the current self-care trend.  This may be a bother to some, even a concern, but the central message of the book and its emphasis on taking responsibility while simultaneously trusting everything to the Lord is indeed a rock-solid exhortation.  So, if you need the encouragement and inspiration, this is a great book.  Just don’t treat it like scripture (not that you should treat any work by fallen man as such).  I feel blessed to have happened to enjoy this book while simultaneously reading Embracing Obscurity, reviewed above, which I believe balances the message of this book quite well.  In fact, I would recommend that you read them together so that you can hold in tension Sally’s idea of “dreaming dreams for the glory of God” with Embracing Obscurity’s challenge to make sure we are building God’s kingdom and not our own.  Really, reading these two books together is a win-win situation, in my opinion.

Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption by Laura Hillenbrand  When I attended my ten year high school reunion a few years ago, one of my former classmates recommended this book to me.  I wasn’t disappointed.  This riveting true story follows Louis Zamperini from his troublesome youth, to the 1936 Olympic Games in Germany, to a fateful flight over the Pacific in WWII.  As a Japanese POW Louie is completely broken—or is he?  Read this book.  If you think you know the story because you watched the movie, you really have missed so much.  Read this book.  It will move you to the core.

The Silver Chair, The Magician’s Nephew, and The Last Battle by CS Lewis  I finally finished the Chronicles of Narnia this year!  Not much else to say except that these were a lot of fun to read and quite encouraging and thought provoking.

Paddle to the Sea by Holling C. Holling  This was on several homeschool booklists, so it caught my attention.  Paddle is a picture book following the adventures of a boy’s wood-carved model canoe as it journeys through the Great Lakes and out to sea.  My boys loved it and picked up quite a bit of geography.

Assistant Coach’s Manual  by Susan Bek  I’ve had the privilege of attending two births as a doula in the past eighteen months, and Lord willing I will get to attend another within the week.  I benefited greatly from taking classes in the Bradley Method of Natural Childbirth to prepare for the birth of my two sons.  I found the training and support invaluable.  One day I may pursue certification as a class instructor and doula, but for now I’m staying up on the subject through reading and supporting some of my friends as they welcome their children into the world.  Thus, this book.  It is a great resource for those coming alongside a woman and her husband who are using the Bradley Method.  It is an “assistant coach’s” manual because the husband is to be his wife’s primary coach.

Farmer Boy by Laura Ingalls Wilder  In my listening to podcasts from the Circe Institute, I jotted down a mental note when David Kern recommended introducing little boys to the Little House series with Farmer Boy because it follows the boyhood story of Almanzo Wilder and is replete with descriptions of rich, enticing farm food.  Hat tip to Mr. Kern for the excellent recommendation.  My boys were sucked into the whole series after we listened to Farmer Boy on audio from our library.

Keep a Quiet Heart by Elisabeth Elliot  I have come back to this book again and again for refreshment and encouragement–and let’s face it, tough love.  Elisabeth Elliot brings timeless wisdom to the struggles women face.  Timeless, of course, because her thoughts are so saturated by the word of God.

CS Lewis on Joy  This wasn’t a book written by CS Lewis as much as it was a collection of excerpts from several of his works, all relating to the subject of joy, and all packaged neatly into a coffee-table-ready little book complete with classical artwork.  Can’t say I’d recommend it, because all it really did was make me want to read more of Lewis’s works in their entirety, but I did enjoy it.  Not bad for a quarter at a garage sale anyway.

For the Children’s Sake by Susan Shcaeffer Macaulay  It’s no secret on this blog that our family homeschools, and it’s no secret in the world of Charlotte Mason homeschooling that For the Children’s Sake is a classic.  I think my mother-in-law read it when my husband was little.  My mom gave it to me for Christmas this year since it was on my wish list, so I gave it a read for the first time this winter.  So much of it clicked with me.  I even started up a Schole Sisters group with a few local homeschool moms this spring, and Macaulay’s book is the first one we’re reading together (which means I’m reading it for a second time now).  A friend of mine has already written an excellent review here.

The Hunger Games, Catching Fire, and Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins  This was my second pass through this trilogy, and I did it in a week.  I didn’t have quite the same sense of PTSD at the end of Mockingjay that I did the first time I read it (that entire novel in one night).  This story and its characters and themes stick with me.  And for good reason—these are themes and characters that have compelled human interest for millennia.  This is not just another young adult series.  I think these books will stand the test of time.  If you’ve read them before but missed the rich historical and literary allusions, why not pick them up again and see them with new eyes?

Little House in the Big Woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder  I think I read this back in third grade, but this year I read it aloud to my boys.  A fun read and a great way for kids to imagine life in the latter half of the 19th century.  My seven-year-old just picked it up to read it for himself this fall.

My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers and The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions edited by Arthur Bennett  These two books were my daily companions over the past year.  Chamber’s classic devotional was often times very edifying and sometimes simply something I read.  Many of his exhortations were challenging—to pray, to surrender completely to Christ, to love Him supremely.  Overall a great read, though some entries were simply a little too disconnected with the face value meaning of scripture for me to really “get” them.  On those days, I simply read and moved on.  One thing is for sure, by the time I finished a year of reading Chambers everyday, I was eager to simply read the Scriptures for myself.  I don’t mean this as a fault to Chambers—in fact it should be more to his credit for whetting my appetite for more of God’s word.  After all, man shall not live on devotionals alone, but on the very word of God.  In addition to Utmost, The Valley of Vision was a very encouraging guide in personal prayer and worship.  Many times I find I don’t have the words.  These puritan prayers helped me in the discipline of praising and depending upon the Lord, even when my flesh was weak and my mind would rather wander.  I will probably revisit this book in the future.

The Story of the World, Volume One:  Ancient Times by Susan Wise Bauer  This is another gem from our homeschool reading.  Our whole family has enjoyed this overview of ancient history written for elementary aged students.  We are reading through the four-volume series together, and then the plan is for our boys to read it a second time for themselves.  There are activity books available to flesh this out into a very full history curriculum, but for now we are simply enjoying them together and looking up the places we read about on our inflatable globe (the best kind of globe as far as little boys are concerned).

What have you been reading lately?  Have any recommendations for me?

Purity Isn’t for Me

12 Friday Feb 2016

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Purity isn’t for me. No, really—it isn’t.

There seems to exist some disillusionment for those who have reached what we could call “the other side of purity”. I’ve seen an article or two from people in my own generation bemoaning the fact that saving one’s virginity for the wedding night just wasn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. The reality that came after saying “I do” just hasn’t seemed to measure up to the ideal they were promised by their parents and youth pastors. Somehow these people who once made a commitment to purity now regret following through with it.

But why?

Maybe they were given all of the practical considerations and potential blessings of purity as though they were promises: avoiding STDs and unwanted pregnancy, having the potential for a very special physical relationship in marriage free from comparison with and the baggage of past “experience”, having a sense of self-respect, keeping your parents and church leaders happy (because the Bible says so!), making sure you don’t waste your gift on someone who doesn’t really love you, and, let’s not forget “married sex is the best sex”. In the minds of all too many teens and young adults, this boils down to: you will be healthier and happier if you wait. None of those are necessarily bad considerations or potential outcomes, mind you, but perhaps, neither are they proper motivation for a lifetime of purity.

I would offer that those who are disillusioned with the results of waiting didn’t understand what purity is for in the first place. Their complaints seem to be along the lines of “It didn’t work out for me like I thought. It didn’t make me as happy as I thought it would.” But, as the title of this article suggests, purity—in the Christian sense—isn’t for me.

My husband and I were recently asked to speak to a local youth group about how the Lord worked to bring us together (especially since our story is quite different from the way many people go about finding a spouse), so the issue of purity has been fresh on my mind for the past several weeks.

One of the discussion questions my husband tossed out that night for the teens to consider is, I believe, a very fitting one for any godly discussion of purity: What is the most important thing in the world to you?

I’d be interested to hear answers to that question from those who regret their past purity.

Hopefully those who know the Lord Jesus Christ as their Savior would at least know that the answer ought to be God Himself, or some variation including loving, serving, or glorifying Him. After all, the Bible says “Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” The Westminster Shorter Catechism suggests that the “chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.” Once you know that is the correct answer, it’s pretty easy to come up with—but a whole lot harder to say honestly, isn’t it?

Riding that train of thought a little further, the greatest commandment, according to Jesus, is this:

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.

Here’s something to consider: If this is the greatest commandment, perhaps we should understand God’s call to sexual purity in light of it. Could it be that the goal of those “lesser” commands is in fact to obey that first one? Let’s review a few passages and see:

 

Now flee youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. 2 Timothy 2:22

 

“Youthful lusts” stand in opposition to the pursuit of “righteousness, faith, love and peace”, and this is to be done with others who “call on the Lord”—the Lord and His goals for us seem to be the focus.

 

Finally, then, brethren, we request and exhort you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us instruction as to how you ought to walk and please God…that you excel still more…For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality…For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification. So, he who rejects this is not rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you. 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8

 

We are exhorted to walk in a way that pleases God, here and also in Colossians 1:10. The strong message of this passage to the Thessalonians is that our sanctification, or being “set apart” unto God, is not only pleasing to God but is also somewhat synonymous with sexual purity. In other words, good luck being set apart for God’s purposes while clinging to sexual sin. Sexual purity is so important because sexual sin is so at odds with our greatest goal: loving and glorifying God.

And perhaps the strongest statement yet:

 

…the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body. 1 Corinthians 6:17-20

 

This passage sets up a two-fold view of our bodies:

1 – There is a sense in which our bodies have dignity and we can disgrace them by acts of sexual sin (“the immoral man sins against his own body”), so arguments for purity that involve a sense of self-respect and dignity are actually, in my opinion, rather appropriate according to this verse. But…

2 – The strongest point to be made in this passage, however, is not that we sin against ourselves, but, if we are Christians, that we sin against the very purpose for which we have been rescued by Christ—to be a set-apart vessel, a temple for the Holy Spirit. Sexual sin is clearly at odds with glorifying God in our bodies, because our bodies are not ultimately ours, but the Lord’s, for Him to fill and abide. What could be more dignifying than that?!?

In my study of these passages, among others, I don’t see God holding out any carrots in order to twist our arms into sexual purity. There isn’t any bait-and-switch, as if God were to say, “Do this and you will be happy, healthy, whatever you want—but eventually I’ll tell you that I really I just want you to glorify Me.” God’s word is actually quite straightforward. If these passages tell us anything, they tell us that purity isn’t about us, it’s about God.

So to those who are young and wondering if sticking it out for the long haul is worth it: yes, it is. Not because it will ensure “your best life”—now or later—but because it is God’s good will for you and it pleases and honors Him. The commitment to set apart your body for God’s service will be a testimony to a world that His ways are better than theirs and that you are willing to wait for God’s good gifts in His good time.

To those who are not so young anymore and wondering if marriage and family will ever happen for them or if they will have lived a life of purity “for nothing”: take heart, it is not for nothing. It is for God and for your eternal delight in Him far above anything else. This will speak volumes of the value of your God above anything this world can offer. It may be a hard and lonely road, and it may be that you don’t see a reward for it in this lifetime, but “God is not unjust so as to forget your work and the love which you have shown to His name” (Hebrews 6:10).

To those who have not lived a life of purity and wonder if they can somehow make up for their sins: no, you can’t. But Jesus already did. He died for sin—for all kinds of sin, including the most perverse and unfaithful. Look to the cross, cast your cares on Jesus, believing He died for your sin and rose from the dead. He lives now to intercede for all who trust Him. So trust Him. And dig into what God’s word says about how to live with a goal of pleasing Him—and walk now in purity because the death of Jesus has made you clean and His Holy Spirit gives you new life.

To those who are married and think that the pursuit of purity is behind them: it’s not. Purity is just as important in marriage as it is when single. The goal is still the same—to glorify God with our bodies—only, in marriage, this includes both nurturing our relationship with our spouse and guarding our minds and bodies from temptation to sin. The fight isn’t over; it just looks a little different.

And finally, to those who think that their commitment to purity before marriage has let them down: it was never meant to be the key to temporal happiness anyway, though it certainly can contribute to it. If you’re a Christian, purity wasn’t ultimately about you at all, but about God. Try not to be resentful towards those who may have misled you into believing the whole point was to be healthy and happy—they probably meant the best for you. Instead of looking back in resentment, open up God’s word to see more of what He has to say about it. If your attitude has been sinful, selfish, or self-righteous, repent. Jesus died for those things, too. And don’t let go of purity—just recognize it isn’t an end in itself or a means to merely temporal ends. It is a part of living life to the glory and enjoyment of God.

I have, of course, only barely scratched the surface when it comes to what the Bible says about sexual purity, nor have I even really shared my own experience in the matter, but I hope that I have at least demonstrated the central purpose for the Christian’s call to purity, which is the very purpose for life itself: to love and glorify our Creator God. If I have as my greatest aim something other than that, my lifelong commitment to purity will quite likely be fraught with disappointment. Because, after all, purity isn’t for me.

 

Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father. Colossians 3:17

 

Amen.

Lauren’s Bible Reading Plan for Busy Moms

30 Wednesday Dec 2015

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I have done several kinds of Bible reading plans since I became a believer in my early teens. The first few times around it was difficult to find the discipline to read the Bible every day all year long, so I usually left off somewhere between February and September.

As I grew up, I became a bit more disciplined. In recent years, I have followed the reading plan I found in my day planner and Justin Taylor’s Plan for Shirkers and Slackers. Both are wonderful plans.

In the past year, however, that discipline has largely fallen apart in favor of working through some much-needed topical bible studies—when I could find the time. But when I finished the last study, it left a vacuum of sorts, both in my schedule and in my plan. As a result I turned to My Utmost for His Highest in the mornings.

Bless you, Oswald Chambers, for your brevity.

This devotional only takes about five minutes, and it has been a wonderful tool to spark prayer, meditation on scripture, and worship. Occasionally I also pull out The Valley of Vision as a further aid to prayer and worship. I plan on continuing with this, but at the same time it’s not the Bible, and I find myself hungering for more of God’s word in my daily fare.

But who has time for a devotional and several chapters of Bible reading before the kids get up and it’s time to make breakfast? I know some of you do—good for you! Keep it up! But others of us can’t afford to chip away at our sleep (whether in the morning or at night) due to our current season of life or health issues. Can I get an Amen?

One of the most difficult aspects of sticking to a Bible reading plan for us busy (and sleep-dependent) moms is the question of when we will do it and do it consistently. When it comes to developing habits we can stick with, it helps to attach our new habit to a habit that we already practice each day, like praying as a family before sending the kids to bed, drinking a glass of water as soon as we wake up, or taking medicine before a certain meal. With this principle in mind, I’ve created this Eight-Step process for establishing a Consistent Bible Reading Time. Here we go:

Lauren’s Bible Reading Plan for Busy Moms

Step One: Locate a Bible (a compacted size may be preferable) and a Bookmark

Yes, you can find it.

Step Two: Place Bookmark in Bible

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It’s handy if the bookmark comes already attached!

Step Three: Locate the Toilet

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Step Four: Locate a Drawer or Basket near the Toilet and put the Bible in it

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You know, a place where you already keep necessary items.

Warning! Shelves or Baskets above the Toilet are not a Good Idea if you do not own a Water Proof Microban Bible. No, I don’t know this from Experience, but I do have a rather Vivid Imagination.

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Step Five: When nature calls, or when the kids have driven you crazy and you need to Relieve Yourself of Burdens and Refuel Your Soul, go do your thing in the bathroom (locking the door behind you). But be sure to leave your Phone in your pocket and read your Bible instead.

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Step Six: When you are Done, be sure to mark your place with the Bookmark and put the Bible back in its special Drawer or Basket BEFORE you do anything to soil your hands. Just because we’re in a Common Place doesn’t mean we have to treat the Bible as Common—Keep. It. Holy.

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Step Seven: Flush and wash hands. (Of course.)

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Step Eight: Step back into the Domestic Mayhem with a Smile.

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That’s it. Just read the Bible from front to back and use a book mark to keep your place. Or if you get bogged down in the Old Testament, read one book in the Old and then the next in the New Testament, using two book marks, and just go back and forth after each book until you’ve read the Old Testament once and the New Testament…more than once. You could even just start with a goal reading through the New Testament, or just the Gospels on repeat. Whatever your preference, my plan is all about finding the time to actually do it by anchoring it to something you find time for every day anyway.

My personal goal is to actually make it through the Bible in a year by reading it while I’m on the can, so I aim to read three chapters every time I sit down and I’m not-in-a-hurry. You can read different amounts each time or set a goal like I did. Either way, you’re redeeming that alone time and saturating your mind with truth. I’m pretty well convinced that it will work since I’ve read through several books simply by keeping them in the bathroom. In fact, when you’re done with this pass through the Bible, check out Loving the Little Years by Rachel Jankovic—my all-time favorite mommy bathroom book (short chapters, anyone?).

Now, I know this may not work for everyone…for those of you who are very regular you may never spend more than two minutes on the toilet. Take that minuscule period of time to count your blessings, favored ones. For the rest of us, we know we’ll be spending some considerable time in the bathroom—and especially on days when we just need a few more minutes of solitude while the kids are silently destroying something in another room (at least it won’t involve toilet paper this time, right?).

And just think! When you finally get up from reading the scriptures, and hopefully praying for God to give you grace to love your children as you should, you will be so much better prepared to not rip their precious little heads off when you find them painting the windows with peanut butter. Or flooding the kitchen and living room by emptying the water filter reservoir. (True story.) Imagine if you’d spent that time on your phone heathenishly playing meaningless games, scrolling endlessly through your news feed, or watching late night TV excerpts and the latest movie trailers on YouTube. You’d surely feel guilty and make the kids pay for it. But instead you were reading the bible. No guilt. No guilt at all.

…And hopefully no reactions you’ll later regret.

And who knows, perhaps sanctifying potty time will motivate you to consecrate the space more often (read: keep that porcelain throne spotless and shining—and maybe even light a candle. What could be more inviting?).

At any rate, I’m highly optimistic that this new Bible reading plan will go quite smoothly for me this year.

My Cross to Bear

09 Monday Nov 2015

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“So you want me to use this turkey meat, but what seasonings do I add to it to make it into sausage?” my sweet husband called up to me as I was closing my Bible and about to make the bed.

“Uh…” I said out loud with wide eyes, thinking, I never measure the herbs and spices, if I try to tell him a guess as to how much to put in, it’ll be more than my brain can handle this early in the morning and he won’t know where to find half of the spices anyway… “How about I come do that for you?”

A few minutes later I was dressed and downstairs, and he had the ground turkey already beginning to sizzle in the pan.

It was Sunday morning and we were getting ready for church. My disposition was remarkably cheerful this week. Sunday mornings can be the most stressful time of the week when you’ve got two small children to get ready, a meal to prepare, toys to pack, Bibles to load—and if you’re homeschoolers, it’s also the only day of the week that you actually have to be out the door by a specific time. Having a history of emotional Sunday mornings is part of what inspired my husband to take over the breakfast prep for me several years ago. Usually it involves pancakes or waffles, but this week it was sausage. Either way, having such a servant-hearted man is an incredible blessing.

But on this Sunday I may have been particularly happy because instead of having to make lunch to bring along with us, I had bought a frozen lasagna the day before and all I had to do was pull it out of the freezer and take it along to our friends’ house. (Who says you can’t ever buy peace of mind?)

Anyway, I’d just pop it in the oven at our friends’ house. Yes, that’s where we were headed. For church.

You see, we are a part of a small fellowship that meets in homes. This week church happened to be at a house only ten minutes down the road from us (perhaps another reason for the minimal stress of our morning). Other than the three year old coming downstairs in a white polo shirt and having to be instructed to wear something different (because I could do the math in my head: White Shirt + Lasagna = Disaster), getting ready and out the door was pretty smooth sailing.

The boys hopped in the van, I buckled up the three-year-old, my husband grabbed his guitar, threw it in the back, and we were set. We got in our seats, closed the doors, looked at the clock, looked at each other, and thought, “We’re early!”

Yes, indeed. It wasn’t yet 9:45 and we only had a ten minute drive to make. Sure, we’d like to have left sooner (maybe one day we’ll get there), and 9:55 is hardly early when the meeting is supposed to start at 10am, but this was progress, and progress is worth celebrating.

To our surprise, as we pulled into the rocky driveway ten minutes later, we found the parking area in the back of the house already full of vehicles. Apparently we were not so very early after all. Oh, well. At least all I had to do when we got inside was turn on the oven and sit down on the couch.

Nathaniel found a chair and set up his guitar while the boys and I found a place on a couch next to my sister-in-law. After singing praises and scripture songs, my father-in-law taught from Mark chapter 8. I was quite tired and admittedly had a hard time paying attention to the first section of verses he covered, but then I woke up a bit when he got to Jesus’ call of discipleship at the end of the chapter.

“Many Christians like to borrow this metaphor of taking up our cross and apply it to trials, saying ‘This trial—whether it be cancer or loss of a loved one—is my cross to bear.’ But that isn’t what Jesus is talking about. Those trials are involuntary—they happen to you. Jesus is making a call to His followers to do something voluntary—to deny themselves and take up their cross and follow Him. Even those who don’t follow Jesus experience trials like illness and loss. Those things are common to life, and certainly there are instructions for us in scripture about those things, but here Jesus calls us to deny ourselves for His sake—to be willing to endure whatever loss comes, not as a result of being human, but as a result of following Christ.”

I mulled over these words, trying to mesh this understanding with my own physical trials—a pregnancy related autoimmune disease and issues that accompany both it and its treatment—even as we moved on to another teaching, and then prayer and singing. After the meeting ended, we enjoyed some good discussion on the subject during lunch, fleshing out what “taking up our cross” might look like—living in obedience to Jesus even when it brings persecution or ridicule, loving Jesus more than this life even though our neighbors might think we’re lunatics, loving the lowly like Jesus did, spending time with them rather than seeking self-promotion and pridefully distancing ourselves from the needy. Our time of fellowship lingered into the evening before we all went home to prepare for the work week ahead.

That night I couldn’t sleep. As often happens when I so desperately need some shut-eye, my mind kept wandering to lesson plans and books and other nerdy and exciting things. Then I began to think again about Jesus’ words in Mark 8. “If anyone will deny himself and take up his cross and follow me…” And then I thought about my father-in-law’s comment that taking up our cross is not an involuntary thing, but a voluntary thing. Despite the practical application we had hashed out over lunch, I still wondered about its application to my trials. So if it’s not the disease and pain that’s my cross to bear, I thought, What is it?

I nudged Nathaniel, who was not quite asleep yet. “You know how your dad said that taking up our cross isn’t an involuntary thing like cancer?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I was just thinking about it some more, and I still have a lot of questions. But I was thinking: Okay, so maybe my disease and whatever pain or other symptoms it causes aren’t my cross to bear, but maybe my choosing to joyfully serve others, to serve the Lord, in the face of that pain would be.”

“That sounds about right. I think that’d be a pretty good application of it.”

“I guess I’d be denying myself the ‘privilege’ of feeling sorry for myself or grumbling, choosing to be joyful instead. And not just for my sake. But for others.”

Nathaniel agreed.

After a pause I lamented, “That’s pretty convicting. That’s not what I usually do.”

We said our goodnights and my sweet, sleepy sounding-board husband drifted off as I lay contemplating this concept in light of the countless believers whose lives I have admired, and in light of Christ’s example. The people I have most looked up to for their faith and strength are those who have joyfully served others despite great physical pain, setbacks, and trials. The Lord Himself laid down His privileges, just in becoming a man! But even more so when He took upon Himself the wrath of God and the pain of public scorn and crucifixion, all the while praying, “Father, forgive them.” The cross wasn’t a hindrance to God’s plan, but the vehicle through which He would bring blessing to the whole world.

From what I can tell, my physical limitations and pains, should the Lord continue to choose not remove them, will be with me in this life whether I embrace them or not. So the ball is in my court: Will I shirk responsibility to respond joyfully and choose to grumble instead? Or will I take up the cross of humble surrender to the Lord’s will, seeking to rejoice in every circumstance and persevere in service to God and to others? On one side is a life of pain and inner turmoil with it. On the other is a life of pain overcome by the grace of God. One choice leads to bitterness and condemnation, the other to eternal joy and glory.

I let out a deep sigh, a kind of physical surrender to the supernatural peace of God that comes when at last we say, “Ok, I trust You.” And finally, too, a few moments later, I surrendered myself to restful sleep.

Here is what I read that evening from Elisabeth Elliot’s devotional, “Keep a Quiet Heart”, that prompted my late-night thoughts on this subject of taking up my cross. God is very kind to ordain even my reading schedule for His purposes and my benefit.

“The worst pains we experience are not those of the suffering itself but of our stubborn resistance to it, our resolute insistence on our independence. To be ‘crucified with Christ’ means what Oswald Chambers calls ‘breaking the husk’ of that independence. ‘Has that break come?’ he asks. ‘All the rest is pious fraud.’ And you and I know, in our heart of hearts, that the sword-thrust (so typical of Chambers!) is the straight truth.

If we reject this cross, we will not find it in this world again. Here is the opportunity offered. Be patient. Wait on the Lord for whatever He appoints, wait quietly, wait trustingly. He holds every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every year in His hands. Thank Him in advance for what the future holds, for He is already there. ‘Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup’ (Psalm 16:5, NIV). Shall we not gladly say, ‘I’ll take it, Lord! YES! I’ll trust you for everything. Bless the Lord, O my soul!’”

~In the essay entitled Maybe this Year, page 51

I’ve many a cross to take up now,

And many left behind;

But present troubles move me not,

Nor shake my quiet mind.

And what may be to-morrow’s cross

I never seek to find;

My Father says, “Leave that to me,

And keep a quiet mind.”

~Poem by an anonymous author, page 52

“For those of us who are not at the moment in pain, may we not let slip any cross Jesus may present to us, any little way of letting go of ourselves, any smallest task to do with gladness and humility, any disappointment accepted with grace and silence. These are His appointments. If we miss them here, we’ll not find them again in this world or in any other.”

~ In the essay entitled Love’s Sacrifice Leads to Joy, page 68

“The Stronghold of Obstinacy”

24 Thursday Sep 2015

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“I want to turn the internets off, so it won’t take so long,” my four-year-old said one afternoon as we walked back to the house from checking the mail.  I chuckled, knowing exactly what he was getting at.

“I will turn the internets off,” he continued.  “That will make me happy!  Ha, ha, ha, ha!  I really can turn them off.  That will be good.  You won’t spend time on them. Ah-ha, ha, ha, ha!”

This adorable diabolical scheming is a pretty precious view into the heart of my child–helping me to see what he sees when mama checks out of the living room and into cyberspace.

With that scenario playing in my mind, the reading in My Utmost for His Highest this morning was quite convicting.  Here is an excerpt:

Do you have anything to hide from God?  If you do, then let God search you with His light.  If there is any sin in your life, don’t just admit it, confess it.  Are you willing to obey your Lord and Master, whatever the humiliation to your right to yourself may be?

Never disregard a conviction that the Holy Spirit brings to you.  If it is important enough for the Spirit of God to bring it to your mind, it is the very thing He is detecting in you.  You were looking for something big to give up, while God is telling you of some tiny thing that must go.  But behind that tiny thing lies the stronghold of obstinacy, and you say, “I will not give up my right to myself”–the very thing God intends you to give up if you are to be a disciple of Jesus Christ.

Lately my greatest claim to myself has been my own self-determination.  I get very frustrated when my plans are foiled, and I spend my time according to my whims and pleasures–rather than according to my responsibilities and divinely-appointed interruptions, which are the clear will of God for my days.  Instead of serving my husband and children, or producing something useful or edifying for others, I flit time away online or just twiddling my thumbs, being nothing but a busybody–finding some skewed sense of urgency, importance, and needfulness in what I am doing when I am really accomplishing nothing but my own entertainment and self-indulgence.

Thinking that my time is my own is part and parcel to thinking my life is my own, only I deceive myself into thinking otherwise.

O God, please help me to number my days, that I may present to You a heart of wisdom, to be careful how to walk, not as unwise, but as wise, making the most of my time, which You have allotted to me, because the days are evil.  And may I do all of this knowing that I am not my own, I have been bought with a price–with the precious blood of Christ–set apart to live every moment for Your glory, accomplishing the works You have prepared for me.

As I was writing all of this down in my journal, the boys were listening to the Jesus Storybook Bible.  As it told the story of Jesus’ and His disciples’ last evening together in the upper room, there is a supposed conversation going on about the fact that no one had washed their feet:

…Someone had to wash away the dirt, but it was a dreadful job.  Who on earth would ever dream of volunteering to do it?  Only the lowliest servant.

‘I’m not the servant!’ Peter said.

‘Nor and I!’ said Matthew.

Quietly, Jesus got up from the table, took off his robe, picked up a basin of water, knelt down, and started to wash his friends’ feet…

Hearing voiced the loud and proud objections so common to my own heart, “I’m not the servant!” and then imagining the quiet humility of Jesus in contrast about brought me to tears.

My life is not my own.  My time is not my own.

May God break down that “stronghold of obstinacy” within me.

May I learn to be a servant.  May I learn to be like Jesus.

A Time for Everything

20 Monday Apr 2015

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As I type I am anxiously awaiting a phone call. A sweet friend of mine is expecting her firstborn son. Her due date has passed, and her usually intermittent contractions have been intensifying today. I have the incredible privilege of being on the “first-call” list, even (hopefully) getting to play a support role in the birthing process.

You’d think I was in the earliest stages of labor. My anticipation and excitement is through the roof, I’ve been busy today trying to focus on the ordinary things that need to be done (like laundry, the dishes, schooling, and food prep) while also scrambling to make sure my bag is packed for the hospital—with personal items I may need, lotions and massage therapy tools that may be useful during labor, snacks, a Bible, my journal, a notebook for keeping track of labor’s progress and hopefully soon baby’s stats.

Bags packed, I finally got a text saying they were in town walking to encourage things to move along a bit more quickly (apparently the going has been slow). Sigh. Ok. Not needed yet. Hang in there, Lauren. Don’t get too excited. This could still go on for a couple of days. Just move on with your day and be ready whenever the call comes.

It’s a beautiful day, so I decided to walk down our long drive way to check the mail. The boys were in bed for nap time, and I usually like to step outside at this time of day for some fresh air. The grass and ivy, ferns and flowers, trees and bushes are all so lush and bright with color. Spring is a beautiful time of year, reminding us of God’s promise of new life. What a wonderful time of year to have a baby!

As I walked down the driveway I saw that the large trashcan was at the curb. Yes, the trash truck had been by and now the can was empty. I’ll get to pull that back up to the house, I thought. It wasn’t a hard job, but something about the slight physical exertion required sounded perfect to me right now. It would give me an opportunity to exert some of my pent-up energy. As I drew closer to the mailbox and the dumpster, I took a look down the road to our next door neighbors’ house. We had collected their trash in our can so that we could help them out during the difficult time of trial they’re facing.

It suddenly struck me that I could be celebrating the birth of a precious newborn and comforting a grieving widow this week. I do not know what the future holds exactly, of course, but it is a possibility. Our next-door neighbor, George, was recently diagnosed with both lung and brain cancer. About a week and a half ago, his wife Carolyn had to drive him to the ER as he suffered a heart attack. Just this past Saturday, when we stopped by to check on them, we found out they had just returned home from an overnight visit to the hospital—the cancer in George’s lungs had metastasized and began causing internal bleeding that had to be dealt with immediately. Carolyn is weary but hopeful that the Lord will deliver them from this trial. Our prayer is that we can be a blessing to them, that the Lord would intervene on George’s behalf, and that most of all they would hope in the Lord no matter what happens.

And so I walked back up to the house, mail in one hand and the handle of the trashcan in the other, remembering how, about six years ago, and about this same time of year, Nathaniel and I felt many of these same emotions. We lived next-door to a woman named Evelyn. At about the same time I gained a husband, she had lost hers. And with her husband, she had lost the will to go on. I visited her from time to time. We’d sit and have a snack and talk, or I’d sit with her while she watched TV. It was a very hard decision for both her and her daughter when they finally sold the house she had shared for decades with her husband and moved her into a nursing home, but one bad fall when Evelyn was home by herself sealed that fate. I continued to visit her in her new home—and Nathaniel and I were glad to share the news with her—we were expecting our firstborn son. I had hoped Evelyn would get to meet him, but we told her goodbye in the nursing home a couple of months before he was born. Life and death. Rejoicing and grieving. I remember how stunned I was to experience them so close in time.

Once the trashcan was back in its proper place, I gazed at the irises that had already bloomed and withered next our front porch, and I considered how fleeting life is. How beautiful, but how fleeting. Like the flowers that spring up as the days grow warmer, but fade ever so quickly away. We enjoy their radiant beauty—a reminder of the creative splendor of our God—but soon they whither as the cycle of the seasons moves on.

So, too, does the cycle of life move on. It can be a bleak meditation to consider that just as life seems to really get going, we begin to realize that our parents are aging, our friends are aging—we are aging. And not only this, but we see that when one person dies, the rest of the world just keeps on going without them, the majority of people unaware that someone has died at all. Our own insignificance and mortality begins to stare us in the face, and we wonder, what’s the point? We’re here for such a short amount of time. Much like the Preacher of Ecclesiastes, we ask, Why do we go about our work or pleasure just to leave it to another? Our lives are so fleeting, a vapor. Where is the significance that I long for?

But oh, when I consider the creative beauty of God, and His purpose in ordaining the seasons—both the natural seasons of each year and the changing seasons of our lives. There is much beauty to behold. And its purpose is not merely to grant us some bit of pleasure here and now, as precious a gift as that is, but to point us to the true and lasting beauty that is the Lord Himself in all of His glory and perfections. As we ache for the changing of winter into spring, so too our hearts long for the eternal spring to one day relieve us of every dark and dreary winter. He has set eternity in our hearts. He is not far from each of us.

And so this mixed up time of anticipation—in which I both delight in the thought of a friend’s new baby and fear the impending death of a dear neighbor’s husband—I remember the wisdom God has given concerning such things:

There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven—

A time to give birth and a time to die;
A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.
A time to kill and a time to heal;
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to weep and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn and a time to dance.
A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing.
A time to search and a time to give up as lost;
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear apart and a time to sew together;
A time to be silent and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate;
A time for war and a time for peace.

What profit is there to the worker from that in which he toils? I have seen the task which God has given the sons of men with which to occupy themselves.

He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end.

I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one’s lifetime; moreover, that every man who eats and drinks sees good in all his labor—it is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will remain forever; there is nothing to add to it and there is nothing to take from it, for God has so worked that men should fear Him.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-14

There is indeed a time for everything.  Including that phone call.  I suppose now I can take a deep breath and continue on with my day.

The Grace of Grape Tomatoes

29 Monday Dec 2014

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I was on my period. I hadn’t had enough to eat. It was about 11am, and I was at the grocery store with two little boys. We grabbed some bananas and carrots, and then I saw them: organic grape tomatoes. With the exception of one picky eater, my family enjoys snacking on these little red gems. So I picked up a package to examine it. Some of the tomatoes looked a bit wilted, so I placed it back on the temperature-controlled shelf and began to reach for another box.

And that’s when it happened. The box didn’t exactly like the way I had set it down, apparently, so in protest it decided to slowly lean forward until it fell to the ground, bouncing from cauliflower to lettuce to floor, where the box finally burst open, allowing over half of the precious fruit to scatter on the icky grocery store tile. Since there was no store clerk around to tell me, “Oh, it’s ok, I’ll take care of that,” I bent over and picked up every last tomato, closed up the box, and put it dutifully in my cart, with the words, “You break it you buy it,” spinning around in my head.

I thought at this point God was trying to teach me something: despite my being a bit of a grump about the whole thing, at least I did the right thing by picking them up and paying for the potentially damaged goods. But God wasn’t done with me yet, nor was He done with the grape tomatoes.

We meandered through the store, grabbing the things on my list (or was this the day that I went in for nothing more than peanut butter and made a list in my head as I shopped and ended up with half a basket full of groceries?), until we finally made it to the checkout line and then headed home.

My blood sugar levels were dropping by now and my muscles felt a bit weak. But we had to unload and put away the groceries before sitting down to eat lunch, so I got to it. I rearranged a few things in the fridge, managing to make room for the abundance of groceries I hadn’t planned on bringing home today (but when you’re out on Monday you might as well make the most of it and try to get what you need for the week so that by the time Thursday rolls around you can be at home doing something productive instead of having to go out to the store again, right?).

Then there they were, the last item to put away, those floor-germ-infested tomatoes. I figured I’d give them a preliminary rinsing off before putting them in the fridge using just water, until I thought better of it and pulled the vegetable cleaning spray out from under the sink. Spray, spray, spray. Toss, toss, toss. Rinse, rinse, rinse. That wasn’t so bad. Maybe I’ll just do this again before serving them so I feel confident that they’re clean.

And then it happened again. As I was turning toward the fridge, my limbs defied me and, after bumping into the refrigerator door, I dropped the box of tomatoes onto the floor…the kitchen floor that didn’t get cleaned last Friday like it was supposed to. And, sure enough, the box opened on impact and all those clean tomatoes went rolling on the floor, under the lip of the fridge, the oven, and the dishwasher.

I started to get angry. One of those less-than-justified “Why, God?!?” moments. But then I felt the tension in my clenched fists subside as I realized this was from His hand—not a curse, but an opportunity. An opportunity to see that I don’t have it all together. Not only am I not as physically in control as I’d like to be (hello, dropping the same box of tomatoes on the floor TWICE in the span of about 90 minutes), but neither do I really have things together emotionally or spiritually. I was ready to raise my fist at heaven, figuratively speaking, to whine and complain and throw a grown-up tantrum…over some tomatoes. Forget that I “did the right thing” in purchasing them at the store. I grumbled against the God of heaven. These tomatoes were simply a small chisel in the hand of a master craftsman, working to chip away at the hardened, bitter stone of my heart, in fact rebuking my self-righteousness by revealing to me that there was work to be done there at all.

On many occasions this kind of scrutiny, though private, would cause me to despair because I wasn’t living up to the perfect standard that I so desperately desire to meet. But in this instance, those tomatoes became a means of grace for me. As I washed them off again, with tears beginning to form in my eyes, I realized that Jesus came to save sinners. He came to die for sinners, to make them clean. And I am one. There is hope for me. There is grace for me, a sinner.

Like those tomatoes that needed washed yet again, so did I. What a joy that His gift of forgiveness, love, and cleansing is not given begrudgingly, as I grumbled at first to clean the tomatoes, but freely. In the very moment that I knew my sin and unworthiness, I also knew that “It is finished,” and I am redeemed, restored, and loved.

There are a lot more elaborate ways the Lord could choose to show me my sin and His love. But this simple little demonstration was sufficient to show that my attitude in such a small thing revealed big things about my heart. But “where sin abounded grace abounded all the more.” His mercy and grace are infinitely bigger than my sin. And so I thank God for the grace I found in an ornery package of grape tomatoes.