“I wish I had time to tell you even a few of the tales or one or two of the songs that they heard in that house [the home of Elrond]. All of them, [Gandalf, the dwarves, and Bilbo,] the ponies as well, grew refreshed and strong in a few days there. Their clothes were mended as well as their bruises, their tempers and their hopes. Their bags were filled with food and provisions light to carry but strong to bring them over the mountain passes. Their plans were improved with the best advice. So the time came to midsummer eve, and they were to go on again with the early sun on midsummer morning.”
Don’t you just feel the very essence of hospitality when you read those words?!?
Story. Music. Refreshment. Clothing mended. Physical and mental and emotional wounds healed. Food for the present and for the future. Wise advice for the journey ahead.
I can hardly imagine a more true picture of hospitality. And yet this paragraph isn’t describing the furniture or décor or architectural style of the home of Elrond, lovely as it may be. That outer shell could look beautiful and still be filled with spite and coldness and neglect. Instead, what warms our senses as readers is the comfort and real help given to the weary traveler.
To be cared for and provided for in a strange place. To have every real need considered and thoughtfully addressed. That is really something.
And that can be our aim when others walk through our door. To cheer and inspire with story and song. To refresh the weary traveler, neighbor, or friend–body and soul.
“Let God use your home, apartment, dorm room, front yard, community gymnasium, or garden for the purpose of making strangers into neighbors and neighbors into family. Because that is the point—building the church and living like a family, the family of God.”
This Christmas I received a Wool& plum Brooklyn wrap dress (thanks Mom and Dad!). I have one other dress from Wool& and I love it, so I was excited to get another.
Getting Into Wool
Our family has added more wool to our wardrobe a little at at time ever since we got into backpacking. Wool is breathable for all seasons and safe to wear in the winter because it keeps moisture off of your skin (as opposed to cotton, which does not: “cotton kills”). Added bonus, especially when wearing a piece of clothing on repeat: wool doesn’t smell! It has antimicrobial properties that prevent it from stinking, making it great for travel and for not-having-to-wash-it-all-the-time.
Now, when I say “wool” I’m referring to merino wool, which is decidedly *not* itchy like other varieties can be.
My Brooklyn wrap dress is a blend of 78% marino wool and 22% nylon. The fabric is on the thin side, but it feels super soft and smooth and drapes very nicely.
The Challenge (and Dress Photos!)
I decided to try the Wool& 30 Day Dress Challenge: wear one of their dresses for 30 days, post the pictures online, and get $30 store credit. (For more info, check out their official rules here.) Sounded like a good deal to me! And a good way to jump right in to wearing my dress and learning to style it in a variety of ways. Here’s a collage of my pictures (or you can find them with descriptions on my Facebook page here).
Reflections on the 30 Day Dress Challenge:
Since I started this challenge in winter, I learned right away how to manage static cling by applying a small amount of lotion to the underside of my skirt and/or my leggings.
I love that the Brooklyn wrap dress is reversible. I usually wore a HalfTee under it when the V-neck was in the front. Didn’t need to layer when I wore it in reverse. The high neckline worked well with a long necklace.
Running shoes paired with a dress aren’t automatically frumpy–it can work. I don’t have to be afraid of it.
I can do a lot of things in a dress. See exhibit A below.
Playing Capture the Flag with Nerf guns at an 11yo’s birthday party!
I still like jeans and for-the-purpose clothing when working out or doing dirty garden work that might snag or poke a hole in my clothing.
Tying the dress up to wear with jeans worked well, especially when I wanted to walk a lot and not have to manage the skirt all the time. And when I wanted that easy, back-pocket access to my phone.
Tying the dress up made wrinkles in it, and I was afraid I’d have to iron it the next day. But after hanging it up overnight it would be pretty well relaxed and ready to wear the next day!
My favorite outfits: paired with a jean jacket, dressed up with black, or layered and accented with cream/pearl.
Biggest single-day win: speaking at a homeschool conference and not having any anxiety over what to wear! I knew exactly what I’d wear ahead of time, so my headspace was clear to focus on my topics and my audience.
I eventually got tired of the challenge–I wanted to wear more colors, especially green or a true purple.
Wool dress over wool tights doesn’t work well for walking unless you wear a slip. The dress rides up. It’s not a problem over bare legs, but it is a problem when wearing leggings or tights or jeans. A longer skirt or heavier fabric might fair better for these situations.
This dress hits me just above the knee. I tend to only wear skirts or dresses that hit at or below the knee, so I thought maybe I’d only ever wear this dress with tights. But discussing it with my husband, he thought it was totally appropriate and told me not to worry about it.
The only exception to not worrying about it, I have found, is on windy days!!! I wear bike-style shorts under dresses anyway, but on windy days, I definitely would grab a handful of my skirt in order to hold it down!!!
Another solution that was a new experiment for me and turned out to be fun: wearing a skirt either over or under my dress. This was a great way to add color, length, weight, and/or warmth!
I thought maybe wearing a dress and posting pictures every day would prompt me to wear makeup more. But it didn’t. I just posted pictures without makeup anyway. 😛
Body image: I don’t care to post pictures of myself often. This was probably the hardest part of the challenge for me. But through the process, I had to look at myself and consider what I saw every day. And be ok with other people seeing what I saw. I’m overweight, and I can’t hide it. I think this was a good opportunity for me to own up to my current reality. And be ok with it. But also feel a bit of a nudge to do something about it (I’m tracking added sugars now with a friend).
Laundry: Wearing the same dress for a month definitely cut back on MY contribution to the laundry pile, though I still had some athletic wear, pajamas, socks, and accessories to wash. I actually only washed my Brooklyn wrap dress ONCE during the entire challenge. I spot-cleaned as needed and put it through the wash to deal with a stain (or a few spots acquired on a single day) that I really wanted to be thoroughly dealt with. The dress never got stinky!!! And washing in the evening and hanging to dry worked perfectly. It was dry and ready for action by morning.
How often will I wear Brooklyn now that the challenge is over? I’m not sure. I definitely want to wear dresses more often than not. I wouldn’t mind being one of those country chicks who dresses like a cowgirl for homesteading chores and then wears cute dresses most of the rest of the time. 😉 But we’ll see. I can definitely imagine keeping Brooklyn in the rotation on a weekly to biweekly basis. Especially with my denim jacket. 🙂
Wool& sent me a survey at the end of my challenge, and here’s what I said was my “biggest takeaway”:
“I discovered my favorite ways of wearing my Brooklyn dress: with jean jacket, or accented/layered with a neutral color: black, cream, or brown. That means I don’t have to think about so many other possible combinations with it. I now know what works and works well.”
Learning my go-to styles with this dress was a big win!
There you have it! Do you wear wool or try to focus on natural fabrics? Have you ever worn the same thing more than just 2 or 3 days in a row? I’d love to hear about it!
Mother-in-law stories. Many of us have them, for better or for worse. I’ve got one that might just shock you.
My microwave oven gets cleaned pretty regularly these days, but it has not always been this way. In fact, it used to get pretty horrendously filthy due to my neglect. That is, until my mother-in-law butted-in several years ago and insisted that I keep it clean.
How did she insist upon this, you may ask? Well, I’ll tell you.
She had the nerve to notice that the microwave was dirty, and then, often without saying a word, she would clean it for me.
That’s it, folks. The nerve!
She would do this nearly every time she came over to my house. She never nagged me, she just did it. I began to feel bad that she was doing what ought to have been my job. “You don’t have to do that!” I would insist. But she would just smile, shrug, and brush it off—and still clean the microwave.
Mothers-in-law can be stubborn, can’t they?
The only way I could win this one was to actually keep the microwave clean so that she wouldn’t have to clean it.
Initially, her love and my shame mixed together in my heart and mind to start the habit, and over time, I began to appreciate having a clean microwave for myself.
And, as mothers-in-law are wont to notice things, mine took notice, too.
“It’s clean! Well! Good job!”
This kind of thing wasn’t a new habit for her. She’d already been commenting on the state of the bathroom when she’d visit: “Your bathroom is always so clean!”
Persistent with that manipulation, isn’t she?
Never mind that she was usually there when we were hosting our house church, so I had cleaned the bathroom the day before–or even just that morning. She wouldn’t hear those excuses, either. She still insisted that I was doing well.
She’s stubborn, I tell you. Through and through.
—————
I sure hope your mother-in-law is sweet and stubborn in all the same ways as mine. But if she isn’t, instead of playing the comparison game, how about take some notes? I know I am. I have a pretty good idea what kind of mother-in-law I want to be some day. Maybe I can practice being that kind of mentor and friend now…
There’s a place for tough love, to be sure. Sometimes a timely rebuke or even a shaking of the shoulders is necessary. But there are other times in a young woman’s life that the most effective means of Titus-two mentorship come from simply showing up, cleaning something, and praising what she’s doing well.
And if she tries to evade the compliment or prevent you from helping, just smile, shrug, and keep at it. Be stubborn in the best kind of way.
That’s how my mother-in-law convinced me to keep my microwave clean. And I’m thankful that she did.
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I just finished listening to this book and wanted to write a review before I forgot what I’d heard!
My rating: 4 of 5 stars (More like 3.5 rounded up.)
This was a good and edifying read/listen. Wolgemuth brings much-needed exhortation to women–young and old, married or single–to step up and reach out to make the Titus 2 vision of life-on-life discipleship of Christian women a reality.
This is a pretty thorough treatment of Titus 2:3-5 and the broader context of Paul’s letter to Titus, with an emphasis on adorning the gospel and with plenty of examples and support from other passages of scripture as well. It’s written with a very accessible tone and a heart that clearly loves the Lord Jesus and God’s people.
I thought the chapter on slander was particularly good.
I give this book 4 rather than 5 stars for a few reasons, however.
While the treatment is thorough, it is also pretty wordy. It could have been a shorter book.
The two chapters on sobriety and a sound mind/self-control overlapped a lot, and each felt like an opportunity to spring-board into a laundry list of any and all possible ways a woman might be enslaved to something or be lacking in self-control. One warning area was being overly desirous of sex–even in the proper context of marriage. While this might be a problem in some rare? cases, it seems strange to warn against this but not spend much energy in the rest of the book on promoting the enjoyment of this good gift of God as a part of a healthy marriage. Flirtatious behavior was also in the bad column but not mentioned as a healthy and fun part of marriage. Protecting the purity of your marriage involves fueling the home fires. This was almost entirely neglected.
I’m sure these kinds of practical lists (like the chart on self-control) can be helpful to some readers, but I think they may also be stretching far beyond what Paul had in mind in his letter, not to mention they may be unbalanced or biblically incomplete.
The application of a passage should not be confused for the original intent. I think the author could have clarified the meaning of Paul’s words a bit more before diving into the many possible applications that are a step (or a few!) removed from Paul’s obvious meaning.
For example: “not enslaved to much wine” is pretty self-explanatory, but Wolgemuth begins the chapter on this phrase by talking about all of the secondary applications (basically any form of excess or idolatry). She does get around to dealing with drunkenness/drinking, and she does a good job for the most part, but she doesn’t really ever paint a picture of a godly woman who can enjoy a drink on occasion. The only stories we read of are negative experiences with alcohol or of someone who could righteously enjoy alcohol deciding to give it up for the sake of someone else (which is fine–wonderful even!, but still only shows one side of how godly people could handle it). There are also a ton of questions that lead the reader to question whether it is ever ok to drink. I’m actually not against these questions–they can be good to consider. But lacking a positive example, it feels unbalanced and would likely lead some readers to view those who do drink responsibly with suspicion. The weight of the chapter was just far beyond what Paul’s words to Titus had to say. The author did recommend reading other authors who disagree with her on this point, so I really think she attempted to handle this subject carefully and with all good faith. I respect her convictions and intentions– I’m not too far removed from them myself.
Again, on the whole, this is a very good book. It could be beneficial and edifying for individual study or in a discipleship relationship or small group. BUT when it comes to fleshing out the details, young married women (the target audience of Titus 2:4-5) will need older women who have been married for the long haul to speak more deeply into their lives about (among other things) the good gift of sex in marriage and how to enjoy one another and keep that gift alive–through pregnancies, illnesses, rough seasons, etc.
The strength of this book is that Wolgemuth can speak to a broad range of experience for women–including singles. The weakness is that she has only been married for one year at the time of writing this book, at age 58. And Titus 2:4-5 is directly speaking to youngmarried women. Broadening the focus for all kinds of women means watering down what can be given to that target audience. This doesn’t make this a bad book, it just means it probably shouldn’t be the only book a young woman reads on Titus 2. And it underscores the need for real-life mentorship, which Wolgemuth herself rightly emphasizes over and over.
One last note: since I listened to the audio book, I found the chapter organization to be a bit confusing. I expected (and honestly would have preferred for) the chapter topics to follow the order in which they occurred in Titus 2. But they don’t. They are organized a little differently: A Woman Under God (doctrine and reverence), A Woman Under Control (slander, excess, self-control, purity), and A Woman Under Her Roof (home and family relationships). The rather primary encouragement to younger women to love their husbands and children gets put off until part three. Once I looked up the table of contents, I was fine. But for a while there, I was concerned. Hopefully this note helps anyone who plans to listen to the audiobook rather than read a physical copy.
Addendum: Another part of the book that lacked much practical application was the area of homemaking. The chapter was good, but it stayed big-picture and didn’t really get into the nitty-gritty details of keeping home. If you’re looking for a book with a biblical view of home that will also show you how to roll up your sleeves and manage it well, check out Mystie Winckler’s new book: Simplified Organization: Learning to Love What Must Be Done. It is FANTASTIC. (See my review of that book on Amazon.)
Have you read Adorned? What were your thoughts? Have you read any other good books on Titus 2 lately?
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Charlotte Mason’s writings have been such a blessing to me–a tool in God’s hands to shape my mother’s heart into what it ought to be, chiseling away at rough edges and teaching me to love what is truly good and right and beautiful.
To date, I have read four out of Charlotte Mason’s six volumes that make up her Home Education Series: Volume One: Home Education, Volume Two: Parents and Children, Volume Four: Ourselves, and Volume Six: Toward a Philosophy of Education. I wish I had blogged through each of these over the years. I think it would have been valuable to force myself to do a written narration of each chapter all along the way. But it isn’t too late to start that habit! So here is my first installment. Maybe it will be a good refresher–or an introduction!–to you, my readers. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Volume Three, Chapter One: Docility and Authority in the Home and the School
Miss Mason opens her book on School Education with a discussion of two key principles: authority (as authorized rule) and docility (as teachable obedience).
She notes that most adults at the time of her writing were raised under rather autocratic and arbitrary rule by their parents. There is a kind of sturdiness that comes from an entire society upholding the rule of authority by parents, even to the fault of upholding arbitrary rule, but the benefits of this system have their limits. Children, for example, may bear their fears and other burdens all on their own without helpful direction if there is not a means by which they can share their struggles and questions with their parents.
Miss Mason notes that rationalistic philosophers from Locke to Spencer have etched away at this notion of arbitrary authority (and the idea of the divine right of kings) by elevating the idea of individual reason.
When Locke promoted the rationality of the individual, he did not do so in a materialist philosophic vacuum. He developed his ideas with a view to Christian religion and virtue. But, Miss Mason argues, people picked up the lone idea of individual reason trumping all and left behind the insistence upon training that reason in what is good. An extreme example of this is the excessive and myopic (and bloody) rationalism of the French Revolution.
The likes of Mr. Spencer (an educationalist cited throughout the chapter by Miss Mason) promote parental authority only as it serves to throw off all authority. Why? Because Spencer recognizes that to throw off God’s authority is to throw off all other authority. Or, conversely, to diminish parental authority is to chip away at God’s. This is the kind of “liberation” that the extreme rationalist wants.
As Miss Mason puts it, “So long as men acknowledge a God, they of necessity acknowledge authority, supreme and deputed.”
One movement’s excesses may be tamed by another’s…and also replaced by a new set of vices. So the old arbitrary authority might be slightly corrected by rationalism…and then thrown off in a fury when that rationalism proceeds on into its own excess.
But what is best for children?
There is an Almighty God with whom we have to do. And He has set parents in the place of authority over their children. Not to wield it arbitrarily but to do so responsibly under God’s authority. As Charlotte Mason sums it up at the end of the chapter:
“We know now that authority is vested in the office and not in the person; that the moment it is treated as a personal attribute it is forfeited. We know that a person in authority is a person authorised; and that he who is authorised is under authority. The person under authority holds and fulfils a trust; in so far as he asserts himself, governs upon the impulse of his own will, he ceases to be authoritative and authorised, and becomes arbitrary and autocratic.”
More Quotes from Chapter One
Here are a few other quotes I appreciated from this chapter:
“The evolution of educational thought is like the incoming of the tide. The wave comes and the wave goes and you hardly know whether you are watching ebb or flow; but let an hour elapse and then judge. … After all allowances for ebb and flow, for failure here and mistake there, truer educational thought must of necessity result in an output of more worthy character.” Vol. 3 p. 3-4
So the test of our philosophy of education will be the character it produces in our children (and perhaps also in ourselves, eh?).
~~~
“But it is much to a child to know that he may question, may talk of the thing that perplexes him, and that there is comprehension for his perplexities. Effusive sympathy is a mistake, and bores a child when it does not make him silly. But just to know that you can ask and tell is a great outlet, and means, to the parent, the power of direction, and to the child, free and natural development.” Vol. 3 p. 4-5
I especially appreciated how this quote illustrated the ideal of open communication between child and parent. The parent’s thoughts are not the only ones that count. It is not an abdication of parental authority to be capable of hearing a child’s sincere questions and helping them to sort out what confuses them. In fact, a parent that so knows their child’s heart is in a much better position to wisely direct it. And a child given such a safe place to be heard can grow and develop in a healthy, “free and natural” way.
~~~
Speaking of Spencer: “he repudiates the authority of parents because it is a link in the chain which binds the universe to God.”
My how we see this today, don’t we?
She then continues: “For it is indeed true that none of us has a right to exercise authority, in things great or small, except as we are, and acknowledge ourselves to be, deputed by the one supreme and ultimate Authority.” Vol. 3 p. 7
~~~
Echoing St. Augustine: “Nothing less than the Infinite will satisfy the spirit of a man. We again recognize that we are made for God, and have no rest until we find Him…” Vol. 3 p. 9
~~~
A warning against the wrong kind of liberty: “We all have it in us to serve or to rule as occasion demands. To dream of liberty, in the sense of every man his own sole governor, is as futile as to dream of a world in which apples do not necessarily drop from the tree, but may fly off at a tangent in any direction.” Vol. 3 p. 10
~~~
Here’s a good word on how damaging, reductionist ideologies form in a person:
“Some such principle stands out luminous in the vision of a philosopher; he sees it is truth; it takes possession of him and he believes it to be the whole truth, and urges it to the point of reductio ad absurdum. [reduction to absurdity]” Vol. 3 p. 11
Key Takeaways for the Parent-Teacher
My parental authority is given me by God (as “deputed authority”). I cannot exercise it properly if I do not first recognize that I myself am under authority—authorized by Someone above me, namely God.
Children by nature have questions. Wise authority leaves room for this—and even welcomes questions and expressions of genuine confusion about the world or even parental expectations as organic opportunities to guide the child in the way they should go.
Don’t get swept away with the latest tide, especially when one concept is elevated to the exclusion of all else. Parenting and educational fads may come and go, but the proof of their wisdom will be in the kind of character they produce over the long haul.
Have you read Volume Three lately? Or been meditating on Charlotte Mason’s principles of authority and docility (they make up the third of her 20 principles)? I’d love to have you weigh in with your thoughts in the comments!
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About a year ago I got a lot more serious about developing my homemaking skills. Something about hitting 38 and wondering what I had to show for the past 15 years of homemaking woke me up to the continued need to apply myself and learn. So over the past year, I’ve wanted to do a photo-rich, seasonal “homemaker’s journal” here on the blog to share what I’m learning and putting into practice. Here’s the first installment.
Hopefully you’ll enjoy taking a peak into how I manage my home—and find some inspiration for your own.
It’s late July August. And I’m rather tired but satisfied.
“To the Limit” seems to be an apt summary for this season. Whatever I’ve set my hand to this summer, I find I’m running at capacity and bumping up against the boundary of what I can actually accomplish with the resources I’ve been given. The garden border, the size of my kitchen and pantry, and my health and energy reserves—these things all provide limits. And I’ve pushed up to them (and perhaps at times past them) this summer.
And that has provided some great life lessons. One of them being what a doctor told me at an appointment mid-summer: “You are a young lady…” (he was being kind, wasn’t he?) “…who doesn’t take care of herself like she should.” Oh. Ouch. (More on that in a bit.)
Garden
The garden is indeed full-to-bursting (at least it was in late July when I began writing this—it’s still full, but some things, like cucumbers, are nearing the end of their productive season…or else they are in the middle of my back-to-school-season, which really means the beginning of garden-neglect-season). We’ve used up almost all of the available space, and I’ve kept up with it much better than I have in past years (for reference, this is our 8th year gardening—I’ve grown a lot with the garden!).
Here are a few pictures of God’s good provision in our garden.
garden path from the patio and raised beds to the main gardenfavorite spot in the garden…the stone bench under a cucumber archview from the bench; lots of black bean plants growing (now about ready to harvest)sweet potato bedcabbagejalepenos and tomatoescabbage, cucumber, zinnia, kale, and mustard greensstrawberries (first year)snap peas and spring blush peasradishes and peasoreganozinniascarrots, cabbage, jalepenos, zinniascaterpillar on parsleytomatoes on the vinemore jalepenos, tomatoes, cucumberszinnias ready to brighten our home and to give as giftsdid I mention cucumbers? assorted goodies…including some okra!
Kitchen
And here’s a bit of what I’ve done with that provision. Canning is still fairly new to me, but I’ve gotten a lot more comfortable with it this year.
first batch of pickles!pickles, bread, dehydrated tomatoes (vacuum sealed in the jar)gluten free pizza topped with garden tomatoes and garden basiltasting the first actually good (and not bug eaten or rotting) peach off of our trees! They were few but amazing! Praise the Lord!dehydrating peaches from a nearby farmvacuum sealed dehydrated peachespeach cakegarden tomatoes, basil, radish greens, and spinach added to spaghetti saucetomatoes, cucumbers, and radishes are from the gardenbrightening our bedroom with some orange zinniaswhat canning looks like in my small kitchen!
About a year ago I started making bread more regularly (I had done this way back when my boys were small, so this is me picking it back up again). My parents gave me a stand mixer, which I have never had before, so I’ve had some fun learning how to use it and finding it to be a huge blessing (especially since my hand-me-down 20+ year-old bread machine bit the dust).
new kitchen aid stand mixer at workquick breads and homemade granolarustic artisan dutch oven breadrustic artisan dutch oven breadfrench loaveswheat rolls for burgersgranola and breakfast cookies
As I’ve tried to make new things and see just how many things I can whip up in an afternoon, I’ve found my limits. My kitchen isn’t tiny, but it is small. Counter space is at a premium. In order to make four loaves of bread and can pickles in a single afternoon (which I did successfully), I had to think very carefully about each step so that I knew I had a place for all of my tools, ingredients, etc. Let’s just say that without the kitchen table that afternoon would have been a nightmare.
maple oat sandwich loaves — I replace half the flour with whole wheat
I did buy two more bread pans so that I could make four loaves of bread at a time since my stand mixer can hold that much dough and my oven can handle four loaves. That has worked out well. But some things don’t scale up as easily. There isn’t space for making as many things in one session as I might like. And time is a limited resource that fills up quickly with piano lessons, doctor’s appointments, church and homeschool activities and responsibilities, etc.
But I am producing where I can. I am growing my skills and my husband and boys are enjoying the fruit of my labor (and I am, too).
I’ve enjoyed (and you can see in my pictures) the French loaves, rustic artisan Dutch oven bread, and maple oat sandwich bread recipes from The Prairie Homestead Cookbook. This is my go-to baking book in the past year.
I’d like to learn the art of sourdough soon in hopes of being able to enjoy eating wheat bread again and being able to share the same bread with my family.
Health and Energy
“…A young woman who doesn’t take care of herself like she should.” I honestly can’t argue too strongly with the doctor’s assessment. Except maybe the “young” part. Getting-close-to-40 seems to push the limits of the definition.
I’ve been sick probably more often than I’ve been well this summer. We’ve had four rounds of fever in our house since May (I’ve had three of them and the fourth may be coming soon). I had a month of congestion that just wouldn’t go away. Been on two rounds of antibiotics and even some steroids since natural remedies weren’t cutting it. My congestion problems are beginning to settle down with some appropriate treatment, and I’m trying to learn to pause in the afternoon to lay down or otherwise rest before making dinner in the evenings. The only days I’ve been down-and-out have been fever days. Otherwise I’ve pretty much been trying to keep up with all the things. Aaand that’s perhaps how one finds her limits. Just because I feel like I can plow through doesn’t necessarily mean that I ought to. Rest is necessary. I can trust the Lord that He will keep the world spinning, that He will provide. It doesn’t all depend upon little ol’ me.
But it’s tempting to fret like it does, isn’t it? Why does pride look so attractive to us when it rears its ugly head?
Learning to rest in Christ while I work, and rest in Christ while I rest…that’s what makes for long-term faithfulness, not the fits and bursts and busts that come so naturally.
So much of homemaking involves resource management. And wiping things. All the time. But really, resource management. It turns out my body and energy is my most constant physical resource that the Lord has given to me. It is mine to steward well—to care for, to be thankful for, and to use in His service. I hope to continue to grow in this area. And I imagine it will become ever more important as the years roll along.
How do you pace yourself in your homemaking? In what areas are you bumping up against your personal limits? In what areas might you stretch yourself? I’d love to hear about it.
Inspiring Ideas
In my effort to expand my skills in homemaking, I’ve been slow reading through Cheryl Mendelson’s Home Comforts: The Art and Science of Keeping House. It’s not a Christian book, but it is an extremely well thought-out and extensive overview of what it takes to make a house a home. And while I think author is probably a feminist (or at least more so than I am), she has an appreciation for the real work and dignity of homemaking–and the impact that the loss of these skills has had on modern American life and culture. Here’s one quote that I have found inspiring.
Her real secret was that she identified herself with her home. Of course, this did not always turn out well. A controlling woman might make her home suffocating. A perfectionist’s home might be chilly and forbidding. But it is more illuminating to think about what happened when things went right. Then her affection was in the soft sofa cushions, clean linens, and good meals; her memory in well-stocked storeroom cabinets and the pantry; her intelligence in the order and healthfulness of her home; her good humor in its light and air. She lived her life not only through her own body but through the house as an extension of her body; part of her relation to those she loved was embodied in the physical medium of the home she made.
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I’ve written in the past about how our family covers “Bible” in our homeschool, which is to say, I’ve written about how we don’t consider it a subject in school so much as a part of life. You can read that article here, especially if you have little ones or are just getting started reading the Bible together as a family.
The following article is actually a guest post from my husband, as he reflects on what we have done differently in our family Bible time this year–instead of reading a chapter aloud at the kitchen table, we’re reading independently and discussing it together over a meal.
I hope my husband’s words are an encouragement to you to see how family bible time can grow and mature as you and your children grow and mature together. If you don’t have kids, I hope these meditations on reading the Scriptures and the resources listed might encourage you in your own pursuit of God through His Word.
For reference, our boys are turning 14 and 12 this calendar year. So the following practice reflects what is possible with fairly strong readers, ages 11 and up.
Here’s Nathaniel:
This year we changed up how we do family Bible time. We decided to read through the Bible in a year by having each person read on their own. Then we discuss over a meal every day. It has been incredibly rewarding for the whole family. Today we finished our last reading in the Old Testament, and I want to share some things that have made it rewarding so far:
1) A primary intention was to read the Bible as literature. Not as “mere literature”, but as literature nonetheless. We wanted to see the overall story arcs and major themes, to enjoy each genre, and to see how it all worked together.
2) We followed a reading plan that is based on the book order of the Hebrew Bible, which would have been the order in Jesus’ day. It has some nice advantages, particularly in that the prophets follow immediately after the books of Kings. For example, I have long enjoyed the poetry and imagery of Isaiah, but had a hard time understanding to whom he’s talking, particularly when he’s cursing neighboring nations. I thought I needed to find a good commentary to provide all the historical background. Turns out, the book of 2 Kings is a good commentary to provide the historical background! When these books are read quickly and close together, I can remember who these neighboring nations are and why they are being cursed.
3) The reading plan we’re using also has us read a Psalm every day. I have been amazed at how often the Psalms connect with the historical reading. It’s much easier now to see the role of the Psalms as the hymnbook of ancient Israel and to see the value of the imprecatory prayers in the context of national turmoil and destruction.
4) I read the ESV Archaeology Study Bible. It was phenomenally helpful to fill in the gaps of historical details and to better understand the world and worldview of the Ancient Near East. It has lots of maps (!!!) and some helpful historical explanation.
Here’s an example spread from Genesis.
Today, I read in 2 Chronicles 35 of King Josiah going to an ill-advised battle with Pharaoh Neco, who’s just passing through on his way to fight someone else. The scripture doesn’t explain who that someone else is, because it’s concerned with Josiah, not with world history. But the study Bible commentary (a portion is pictured below) explained that Neco was allied with the Assyrians and on his way to battle the newly-resurrected Babylonian empire. Neco and Assyria are defeated, and 2 Chronicles 36 picks up a few years later as Babylon sweeps in and attacks Jerusalem.
5) I appreciated that the commentary in this study bible is primarily observation-level commentary. It’s not about digging out deep theological interpretations, it’s more about understanding the historical and literary context of the Scripture. Which really helped in seeing the literary flow of the Bible.
6) We also have watched the Bible Project summary videos of each book. I know that in some theological camps there is some controversy around the Bible Project, and I certainly don’t agree with all of their systematic theology, but I think they do a great job aiding a literary reading of scripture with their compelling outlines and summaries of each book of the Bible in their Read Scripture series.
7) The pattern in our family time this year is for our youngest son to narrate the day’s reading and for our oldest to read his written one-sentence summaries of each chapter. Then I will share my observations, Lauren will chime in, and we generally have an enthusiastic discussion.
The boys have enjoyed it, too. They have established a great habit of daily bible reading as soon as they get up. Without being reminded, they are committed to it and haven’t missed a day all year. Prior to this, our youngest was about halfway through reading the entire bible on his own. But he says this group discussion approach has helped him understand it much better. It is my prayer that this year will provide a great foundation for a lifetime of rewarding Bible reading for my sons.
When we started this plan, I mentioned it offhand to a father at church who is some years my elder. He mentioned that a read-the-Bible-in-a-year plan really makes you appreciate the New Testament when you finally get to it. I don’t think I have ever enjoyed reading the Old Testament as much as this year — even Leviticus and Zechariah — but I believe he’s right: The Old Testament has clearly demonstrated humanity’s sinfulness and persistent rebellion against all that is holy and good and right. Against God Himself. Over and over again, God creates good things, and men reject His leading and ruin everything, resulting in tragic consequences. Even as the Jews return from exile in Babylon, they still can’t get it right. And those of us outside the Jewish nation are even worse off, without the scriptures! We need light to break through our darkness. We need new hearts, with God’s law written on them. We need an anointed King of a transformed people to spread His kingdom of love, peace, and righteousness all over the earth.
I’m ready for Jesus!
Back to Lauren:
Amen! I’m eager to see Jesus enter into our needy world, “in the fullness of time”, as we begin our readings in the New Testament–tomorrow!
To wrap up, here’s a quick summary of our family Bible time practice for this year:
Follow the Bible reading plan from the Bible Project, each of us doing our daily reading independently.
Discuss as a family, usually at breakfast: Youngest son gives an oral narration (or retelling) of our reading; Oldest son shares his short, written summary (usually 1-2 sentences per chapter); Nathaniel guides discussion and shares from his findings in the ESV Archaeology Study Bible; Lauren shares her insights (sometimes drawing from Words of Delight by Leland Ryken) and asks a guiding question on occasion.
We have also added some side studies on the Code of Hammurabi and the Canaanite god Ba’al (among others) to broaden our understanding of biblical and ancient history and to be aware of the way that some critics and liberal theologians will use such sources and subjects to undermine divine inspiration and biblical historicity. It’s been a fascinating study that has made for great discussions. Keep in mind: this level of study is best undertaken when the kids already have a good grasp of history and the parents are solid in the faith and have at least some knowledge of how to interact with historical source material, able to ask good questions of a text or artifact and able to separate what’s actually there from a scholar’s speculative commentary.
Where are you in your own Bible reading journey? (Hint: It’s ok for it to look different in your home!)
Do you have a habit of reading and/or discussing the Bible with your family? What does that look like in your current stage of life?
If you’re just getting started, don’t be intimidated. Just take the next right step. And be sure to check out this post for what we’ve done in younger years.
May you and yours be built up in the Lord as you feast upon (or are just acquainting yourselves with) His word.
I recently visited a lovely church with friends a few hours from home. Almost every song we sang in worship was a hymn, and I was thankful. But as we sang “Wonderful Grace of Jesus,” I began to realize that something was missing.
The men and women sang different parts for this song, as is traditional. While the words were clearly visible on a screen, they didn’t exactly reflect the parts, and I was left guessing—both at the words (the women’s part wasn’t even entirely presented on the screen) and at the tune (when was the last time you saw solfege or a music staff included on-screen?).
We made it through, and I’m sure the Lord was honored by the praises of His people, but something was missing from the experience.
My own church sings quite a lot of hymns. And I’m quite thankful for it. They, too, have forgone the expense of maintaining hymnals, and especially the added-weight of lugging them every Sunday from the church office to the rented public building where we meet for church. It makes sense that digital and projected words are easier in such a situation. And we don’t ever sing any songs with men and women singing a call-and-response or anything like that. That’s a loss in itself, but it works out logistically.
The church I grew up in (at least from age 14 on) had hymnals. My sight reading ability has never been that amazing, even when I was in choir in middle and high school. But the hymnal at least gave a sense of where the tune was going, the shape of the music, if you knew where to look. And it had those echo parts typed out neatly—and in time—either above or below the main lyrics.
I actually didn’t “grow up in church” before my teens, and I hadn’t sung any hymns other than the few that made their appearance in my (public school!) second grade Christmas program. So I had to adjust to taking my cues from a hymnal just like anyone might have to do today. It took some work and a few pointers from friends, but I was delighted to learn so that I could sing along. This was a part of joining in the worship of God among His people—I valued that and wanted in.
Logistical considerations aside, if we abandon hymnals because we’re afraid people can’t or won’t want to learn how to use them, what are we saying about the people who enter through our doors? We’re assuming their inability and disinterest, instead of giving them the opportunity to learn and be initiated into the historical songs of our faith.
The church itself has a legacy, a history, a heritage. This is something missing from many modern lives—why should we assume that believers in Christ won’t want to be a part of it?
My husband Nathaniel recently lamented to me that Christian music in general has a very short shelf life. If you make music in the secular world and get really popular, you have a shot at getting played on an oldie station after your “big time” fame begins to wane. Well, my friends, there are no Christian oldie stations. Pop culture is obsessed with what’s hot NOW, and it would seem that Christian pop culture is even more so.
This is indeed worthy of lament.
Nathaniel explained to me further that the average lifespan of a church worship song is five years. Five. Years.
Two years ago we were looking for a new church, and when we visited many places around town, we noticed a pattern. Most churches sang almost no hymns. And when they did throw a hymn in the mix, it was done up with a new chorus made popular by a hit song on the radio—or else it was simply a hit song on the radio that incorporated one verse from “Amazing Grace” just to check the nostalgia box. It’s not hard to imagine that much of today’s music exists mostly for the feels and the ratings.
In most of the churches we visited, we had to learn to sing new praise songs. Some were decent, and some were meh, and some were terrible. But all of them were from the last 5-10 years of Christian radio (which is why we didn’t know them—we don’t listen to Christian radio much these days. The musical and lyrical quality is mostly meh and self is at the center far too often.).
Now, don’t take this the wrong way. I love a good praise song, and it isn’t a problem if we have to learn some. In fact, there were a handful of wonderful praise songs that I sang in my youth group and alongside the hymns in that church I attended in my teens. But those songs are all but forgotten now. No one under 30 seems to know them.
What will happen to the good songs written in the past 30-50 years—the time period in which those songs were tested and enjoyed but didn’t exist in any hymnals? By now some of them could be added to such collections. But who is going to do it if no one uses hymnals anymore?
It’s expected that we, as a church, will sift through the songs of a given age and only keep the ones that are most valuable. Many old songs will be forgotten. There are old hymns that aren’t that good and don’t need to be kept alive. This is normal.
But in past generations, as my husband pointed out to me, we had repositories where we collected those best-of-each-age songs. We had hymnals. And these hymnals might be used in different churches, providing some continuity of worship even across denominational lines. Owning a few hymnals meant you could (literally) flip through several curated collections and determine which songs you thought most sound, most edifying, most worshipful, and most reflective of a heart devoted to Jesus.
Now? Now we have popular Christian radio to tell us what we should sing in the car, in our homes, and in our churches. And what makes for good popular Christian radio? Songs that have good ratings—from the average Joe who turns on or streams said station—no knowledge of the Bible or tests of character required. Just your vote.
Of course someone at the local church level makes the actual selections for what a congregation will sing, but what pool are they choosing from? Do they themselves know any of the old hymns? If so, how many?
I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that connecting with church history is of greater importance than connecting with what is popular and consumable under the “Christian” banner. We have a faith heritage that ought to connect our churches today—we don’t need to have that replaced with a worldly mechanism (the mere popularity contest) glazed over with Christian labels.
Maybe, like me, you recognize that the songs on the radio are weak, so you have a curated online playlist of not-the-radio songs. Maybe this includes re-vamped hymns, but with more substance than the radio. But the mechanism is much the same, and the lifespan of these songs is similar to the radio hits.
If the hymnals are gone from most evangelical churches, what mechanism will keep our people from forgetting the songs of the past?
Even among the churches that still sing hymns, which ones? How deep is the well from which you draw? We need more than the individual memories of the older folks who remember a broad range of hymns—we, as a people, are all too quick to forget. And when the older believers pass on from this life, their memories go with them—how do we tap into their wealth of hymnody for the edification of generations to come?
If everything is digital and customizable, how will that help us connect with other churches? Happenstance overlap? Or would it be helpful to have defined collections?
How could we revive the practice of gathering (’round the fire or piano) for a hymn sing? Would physical hymnals, printed papers, or digital song books work best for this?
If Christian radio didn’t exist to train your taste to whatever is new, how might that change your taste in worship music in church?
Do you have a personal or family hymnal? When was the last time you dusted it off and sang a few?
May the Lord be glorified in His church, as we “sing a new song” and as we keep alive His time-tested praises as well.
What do you think? Am I just an old curmudgeon ranting about “church these days”? Or is there something here we as Christians ought to consider and hold on to?
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My oldest is now a teenager and has just finished the 7th grade. My baby is 11 and has wrapped up 5th grade. It’s amazing how the time flies. Here are the plans I had for my boys for this school year and how we did implementing them.
Math
This year my 7th grader (a good but not-very-mathy student) worked independently through Saxon Math 8/7 with PreAlgebra. He will be heading into Algebra 1 next year in 8th grade.
We have used the same independent-work routine for a couple years now: They each do the facts practice, read the lesson, do the practice problems, and then do either the even or odd numbers from the problem set. Each boy then corrects his own daily work using the solutions manual, identifying any mistakes made (as either arithmetic errors, understanding errors, copying errors, or neatness errors), and showing those corrections to me before recording how he did and moving on with his day. When it comes to tests, I do the grading, so my boys know that it’s in their best interest to be honest with how they handle their daily work. This has not been a problem. We’ve all learned over the years that mistakes on daily work are just part of the learning process. The opportunity to show mastery, especially in the Saxon program, comes on the tests.
Writing / Language Arts
My boys aren’t crazy about writing assignments, but they do like to write. I try to keep a balance between assigned writing (because it builds character to submit to something someone else has chosen for you) and having time in the schedule for them to work on their quarterly neighborhood newspaper, the historical fiction novel or a script my oldest has started, or one of my youngest’s silly stories. Our goal is that they write every day (ideally at least one page front and back), that I read and constructively correct their writing, and that they learn from correcting their mistakes and from my coaching to be better writers.
This past year, this has generally looked like one day of copywork, a day or two of free writing (usually one on the computer), at least one day of written narration, an occasional book report when finishing a school book, and some poetry writing days and studied dictation thrown in the mix. Toward the end of the year, I have given my boys some writing prompts to get them thinking more deeply about what they have read this year. This is sort of like a Charlotte Mason end-of-term exam (a practice I am trying to get better at actually doing). When I tried this a time or two in our first semester, my boys struggled and pushed back a bit–especially the 13 year-old since he’s reading heftier books. Now, at the end of the year, they are both willing to do the work of thinking and writing, and I’m especially enjoying the depth I’ve seen from said 13 year-old. That’s the kind of growth we’re looking for!
My oldest also did a lengthy report on soundtrack composer John Williams for our local Discovery Fair event. He won first place for his age group and best in show. His younger brother did a report on the infamous Karl Marx–he at first suggested this topic as a joke, but I told him it would probably make for a great project. And it did. He won second place behind his brother.
I had planned for my 7th grader to finish up Grammar of Poetry(which we began in 6th grade), and then work through Nancy Wilson’s Our Mother Tongue. But the poetry thing fizzled out in the fall and we were so busy in the spring that I didn’t even try to make OMT happen. He enjoys writing poetry already. And we get so much grammar from our Visual Latin lessons and practical English grammar from me correcting his writing that he’ll probably do fine if he never works through a grammar program. I will keep Our Mother Tongue waiting in the wings if it looks like he’d benefit from it, but I may just pull a little from it here and there so we get some practice diagraming sentences and call that good.
Reading (and History and Literature and Science and…)
We cover most school subjects through reading living books. In years past, instead of reading from multiple subjects in one day, my kids have mostly just sat down with one book on a given day, immersing themselves in it. This year I did a bit more of a schedule, often with two readings per day. For the fall, I attempted to schedule reading certain types of books a certain number of times per week. But I didn’t divide things out thoroughly and the reading was more for time than a set number of pages. By the end of the semester, both of my sons had read almost 33% less than I had intended for them, so the read-for-time honors system wasn’t working that well.
Granted, we also were preparing for a backpacking trip across the Grand Canyon, went on said trip in September…
Our first day descending into the Canyon from the North Rim. Our destination, the South Rim, is visible on the horizon line, with a mountain jutting up above it in the distance.
…and then needed to catch up on the rest of life once we got home, so some of the reading deficit came from full days on which my boys asked if they could read for less time and I granted it. They just got accustomed to those “less time” days and didn’t revert back to normal on their own.
So, for the spring semester I scheduled out their readings by page numbers–a set amount of reading for a set amount of time. And, guess what! It has worked really well. And I think I have grown in my ability to manage details in a lot of areas for having done the work to manage their reading on a more detailed level.
Book List for 7th Grade
Our goals for 7th grade reading: Enjoying Regional and State History; Revisiting Fairy Tales; Filling Science Gaps; and Beginning Studies of Government and Economics. I also had my 13 year-old read a few great books, tracing the idea of knights and chivalry up to the cowboy days. The following books are organized by general subject matter.
Devotional/Theological: Regular independent Bible reading, family Bible time, and began attending our church’s weekly men’s bible study with his papa. Plus:
Arkansas and Regional History and Historical Fiction:
An Arkansas History for Young People (my son’s first experience with a traditional history text book–he’s not a huge fan, LOL. Even so, he simply read and narrated it, skipping the busy work)
“The Big Bear of Arkansas,” a short story by Thomas Bangs Thorpe (also added Thorpe’s “A Piano in Arkansas”), both found in the book Humor of the Old Southwest, which I found at my local library. We also enjoyed listening to the Bear Grease podcasts on “The Big Bear” and on “The Arkansaw Image”.
It Happened in Texas by James A. Crutchfield to cover some history from my beloved home state (picked this one up at Palo Duro Canyon State Park–warning, there are some disturbing stories, especially the chapter titled “Mass Murder”).
How to Read a Book by Mortimer Adler (Part 1, first 55 pages–this book will be spread over the next few years)
Free Reads: Life of Fred: Fractions, Viking Quest series by Lois Walfrid Johnson (Christian historical fiction), The Land by Mildred D. Taylor, Let the Circle be Unbroken by Mildred D. Taylor, and Re-reads: The Ikabog by J. K. Rolling, The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkein, and various other titles I can’t remember or keep track of.
Book List for 5th Grade
My 11 year-old had a slight focus on Scottish history and literature this year. He’s not as fast a reader as his brother, so a lot of his reading time was simply getting in some of the great classic children’s books.
Devotional: This year he has simply done his own Bible reading and participated in family Bible time.
The Ocean of Truth by Joyce McPherson (a Christian biography of Isaac Newton)
This boy read several of the same free reads as his brother, as well as numerous others I didn’t keep track of!
Beyond Independent Learning
As for things we studied together as a family, you can read about my Morning Time plans for this year here. In addition to those plans, we also enjoyed exploring topics on YouTube from time to time, kept a family read aloud going in the evenings, and participated in various other activities (such as choir, piano, backpacking, gardening, and pick-up games of frisbee and baseball).
This year, the boys also took up playing recorder, did lots of creative work in the garden, fixed bikes, built steps, dug holes, sewed costumes, learned calligraphy, wrote messages with Anglo-Saxon/Middle Earth runes, and cooked things like acorn pancakes (and regular pancakes, too). These are the kinds of things I don’t plan–other than to leave space for them and make sure the kids are well-supplied.
There you have it. 7th and 5th grades in the books. Over half of my oldest son’s homeschool years are behind us now, and the same will be true of my youngest by the end of next year. That’s pretty crazy to think about, but it’s also pretty exciting to watch my boys grow and take on each next thing. Onward and upward!
Want to know more about how and why we homeschool? Here’s our why. And here’s ourhow (on an over-arching philosophical level).
Are you one of those folks who gets the mower out in early April? Do you love a pristine, mono-culture lawn?
Well, we’re not those kinds of folks. While we appreciate the immaculate lawns in town, we like to let our own grass and flowers grow a bit before taking a ride on the mower–and my husband likes to scythe parts of the yard for hay. Crunchy, I know. But when you have a few acres in the country, you can get away with it.
This year, when we were finally ready to take a first pass on cutting the lawn, the mower wouldn’t start. It needed new parts. And my husband was finishing teaching a power systems class for the first time at the local university (in addition to his day job as an engineer). And I was wrapping up my first year of leading a local homeschool co-op.
The lawn had to wait a bit longer than usual. But it didn’t wait begrudgingly.
My friends, we were rewarded with a beautiful show of wildflowers. And lots of frogs hopping all around in the evenings, too. May is a busy month full of end-of-school-year happenings. In the midst of it all, I would like to share a bit of beauty that came from something not happening. Enjoy.
Blue Bachelor’s ButtonCrimson Clover in the shade — We planted seeds over a year ago and they’ve come back nicely this year!Bee on Crimson Clover in the sunPotato DandelionCommon Purple VetchHairy ButtercupVenus’ Looking GlassDaisy Fleabane (I’ve always called these asters! I was wrong!)Butterfly on Rose VerbenaA neighbor’s Honey Bee (and a tiny beetle) on our Lance-Leaved CoreopsisLance-Leaved Coreopsis with bud in viewFive Spot flowers and budWild HyacinthFalse GarlicHairy Phacelia (purple) and Corn Salad (white)More Corn SaladBlue ToadflaxThe always-elegant Indian PinkSpiderwortDewberry Flower (dewberries are like small blackberries–we get a sampling of them every year by our creek)Dewberry Flowers and Crimson Clover by the CreekDewberries are about ready now!
The lovely show I’ve captured for you here spans April and May, but not comprehensively. There have been even more flowers beneath our feet–spring beauties, tiny violets, yarrow, and flowers for which I don’t yet know the names. (The ones I do know, I’ve learned mostly from friends or from the book Arkansas Wildflowers, which organizes flowers by color for easy reference.)
The front lawn is mowed now, and we’ve edged around the house. There’s still tall grass and wildflowers out in the side yard, to keep those neighborhood bees happy (yes, we get honey from across the fence–it’s wonderful).
So if your lawn gets a little long and scraggly this summer, and you just can’t get around to mowing it as soon as you’d like, I hope this post will encourage you to find the beauty in it even as you make space in the schedule for your lawn care routine. Enjoy the season.
Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Kept and Keeping 