Mother-in-law stories. Many of us have them, for better or for worse. I’ve got one that might just shock you.

My microwave oven gets cleaned pretty regularly these days, but it has not always been this way. In fact, it used to get pretty horrendously filthy due to my neglect. That is, until my mother-in-law butted-in several years ago and insisted that I keep it clean.

How did she insist upon this, you may ask? Well, I’ll tell you.

She had the nerve to notice that the microwave was dirty, and then, often without saying a word, she would clean it for me.

That’s it, folks. The nerve!

She would do this nearly every time she came over to my house. She never nagged me, she just did it. I began to feel bad that she was doing what ought to have been my job. “You don’t have to do that!” I would insist. But she would just smile, shrug, and brush it off—and still clean the microwave.

Mothers-in-law can be stubborn, can’t they?

The only way I could win this one was to actually keep the microwave clean so that she wouldn’t have to clean it.

Initially, her love and my shame mixed together in my heart and mind to start the habit, and over time, I began to appreciate having a clean microwave for myself.

And, as mothers-in-law are wont to notice things, mine took notice, too.

“It’s clean! Well! Good job!”

This kind of thing wasn’t a new habit for her. She’d already been commenting on the state of the bathroom when she’d visit: “Your bathroom is always so clean!”

Persistent with that manipulation, isn’t she?

Never mind that she was usually there when we were hosting our house church, so I had cleaned the bathroom the day before–or even just that morning. She wouldn’t hear those excuses, either. She still insisted that I was doing well.

She’s stubborn, I tell you. Through and through.

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I sure hope your mother-in-law is sweet and stubborn in all the same ways as mine. But if she isn’t, instead of playing the comparison game, how about take some notes? I know I am. I have a pretty good idea what kind of mother-in-law I want to be some day. Maybe I can practice being that kind of mentor and friend now…

There’s a place for tough love, to be sure. Sometimes a timely rebuke or even a shaking of the shoulders is necessary. But there are other times in a young woman’s life that the most effective means of Titus-two mentorship come from simply showing up, cleaning something, and praising what she’s doing well.

And if she tries to evade the compliment or prevent you from helping, just smile, shrug, and keep at it. Be stubborn in the best kind of way.

That’s how my mother-in-law convinced me to keep my microwave clean. And I’m thankful that she did.

If you’re just itching for another microwave story, you may also like: Love Covers a Multitude of Sins…and Spills?