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Apologetics, Books, Christian life, Christian mom, Christian Parenting, Christian thinking, faith, Family Discipleship, Mama Bear Apologetics, motherhood, parenting
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This is a longer book review than I usually write on Goodreads, so I thought I’d share it here. When I take the time to give a more thorough review, it’s often because I think the book is valuable and that at least some people probably ought to read it, but it also likely means I have some considerations that I think readers ought to keep in mind in order to sift through it and apply it rightly. Mama Bear Apologetics is one such book. In this case, there are some things to “chew and spit” from the book, even as the book itself teaches moms how to “chew and spit” what they encounter in the world today.
Mama Bear Apologetics: Empowering Your Kids to Challenge Cultural Lies by Hillary Morgan Ferrer (and a handful of other Christian women)
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
I give this 4 stars, but that’s rounded up from 3.5.
While I am a mother, I am not the target audience for Mama Bear Apologetics. I’ve been around the block a few times when it comes to apologetics. The authors are writing to moms who aren’t so familiar with it. But I was excited to see this title in Hobby Lobby and wanted to preview it to see how useful it would be for younger moms I know.
Verdict: The content chapters are very good at briefly covering the various isms and issues of our day–I’m thankful that a book like this exists. I’d say it is useful to its purpose but with a few very important caveats, especially concerning the introductory chapters.
Most foundationally, while I understand wanting to stress the importance of apologetics, there were some problems in how the authors laid it out in the first two chapters. They talked about apologetics as “foundational”. They cited the sad statistics of how few professing Christian teens actually read their bibles (among other stats). But then a few pages later they said that reading the bible (along with Sunday school, etc) isn’t enough–we need apologetics. There’s a disconnect here, folks. If only 5% of professing Christian teens today read the bible, and that’s down from 8% in 1991, then the most foundational problem is that teens aren’t actually in the Word. And what’s more, those teens from 1991 (or the decade or two after that) are parents today–so we have biblically illiterate parents as well as teens. If apologetics gets people to dig into their bibles more, great. But the foundational issue is not a lack of apologetics. The foundational issue is a lack of a foundation–in the Scriptures.
To be fair, the author of chapter two does say: “We need to remain in God’s Word and in regular prayer to Him. After all, we can’t defend Scripture if we don’t know it.” But 1) this was one statement in a sea of overemphasis on apologetics, 2) it still makes bible reading subservient to apologetics (“we can’t defend…”) instead of reading it for its most foundational purpose–to know and love God, and 3) it still only refers to the parents and not the training of the children to read the Bible for themselves.
It may feel to some like I am splitting hairs here, but it is incredibly important to put things in their proper order! Jesus is worthy of devotion no matter what goes on in the world around us. And His Word is precious to us because it is how we grow in knowledge of our God and how we can serve Him. Then we can learn to defend against enemy attacks because we prize what we are defending. We only arm ourselves with apologetics because there is something worth defending and holding onto for its own sake. I trust that the authors agree with this, but I sure wish they had taken the time to allude to the real foundation and give a brief outline of core Christian teachings and basic spiritual disciplines before diving into the rest of their content. A little less cutesy talking down to moms would probably have provided the space needed.
Connected to this inordinate emphasis on apologetics is the idea that apologetics is needed–and even apologetics curriculum!–for very, very young children. Everything in me screams, “No!” Children need to be steeped in the Word of God. Their first instruction needs to be the positive teaching of Christian faith and practice in reference to the Bible and their everyday life, not instruction in reference to the wrong ideas in the world. A closing thought from one of the authors at the end said that in reading this book, “you have taken your first step toward teaching yourself and training your children to love God with their minds. Bravo!” The encouragement intended is not lost on me, but a book like this is not the first step, friends. Confess your sins and trust in Jesus for salvation. Read God’s word, memorize it and meditate on it (THIS is how you train or renew your mind). Participate in local church fellowship, baptism, and the Lord’s supper. Teach and share these things with your children and pray for the Lord to work. The ordinary means of grace are the first steps and they are the step after that and the step after that and the step after that–even as you add some apologetic training to your ordinary, faithful Christian lives.
In chapter two, there’s a bullet point tip to “Carve Out Regular Family Time to Study”. This sounds great on the surface, but it’s not a direct call to read the bible together as a family, it’s a call to go through apologetic resources (which is fine if you’re already doing the basics, but it’s sidestepping the obvious if you aren’t). And if you need an example to help you get started, “we can look to…other faith systems that have successfully established certain routines within their families. Islam, Mormonism, and Orthodox Judaism prescribe specific times each day during which they stop to pray, study their religious texts, or disciple their kids.” My friends, we don’t need to look elsewhere for how to train up our children, as interesting and instructive as an outside comparison may be. Our point of reference ought to be Deuteronomy 6:4-9 and Ephesians 6:1-4 and the countless examples of faithful Christians who have been intentional about training up their children in the ways of the Lord for centuries to the present day. Not to mention countless modern books encouraging parents in their role of discipling their children. Why not recommend one of those books in passing? Why not call parents to their duty in reference to scriptural command rather than in reference to fear of the culture?
The above examples are real point-of-reference problems in the book (almost all from the introductory material in chapters one and two). As much as I love the content chapters on the issues of our day, the way in which the entire discussion is framed falls short–readers ought to take this into consideration. Seek out positive examples of Christian training and instruction in the home–from real, live godly people and solid books. Apologetics is only one small but important part of the whole, and unfortunately that isn’t communicated well in Mama Bear Apologetics.
Most of the rest of the book was very good and helpful. The chapters on Discernment and Linguistic theft were great. As were those on Self-Helpism and Naturalism.
But Chapter 7 on Skepticism (agnosticism and atheism) contains encouragement for Christians to embrace a “healthy skepticism”. This is clever, perhaps, but I don’t see the Scriptures promoting any kind of skepticism. Wisdom and discernment and turning away from lies, yes. Taking captive every thought, yes. But not “skepticism.” I think this is a poor word choice when there are Christian virtues and scriptural language that could be forwarded instead. There are great points in this chapter about being willing to wrestle openly with doubt and questions, but please take care not to promote “skepticism” to your children. I couldn’t pray along with those words in the scripted prayer at the end of the chapter.
The chapters on Postmodernism and Moral Relativism are pretty good, but after the chapter on Emotionalism I felt like I needed a break from the book.
Switching between writers mid-chapter (especially in the chapter on Emotionalism), was confusing at times and made for a less than great reading experience. I didn’t care for the overly-caricatured tone throughout the book, either. Everything is in “mama bear” terms, and it gets a little old and cheesy (even for a seasoned mother!). And some of the illustrations just didn’t work logically. I put the book down about half way through due to these frustrations, but I am glad I picked it back up several months later to finish it. I found the latter half (chapters on Pluralism, New Spirituality, Marxism, Feminism, and Progressive Christianity) to contain better writing and argumentation and to be a bit more serious in tone.
While I don’t believe we need to “advocate for a healthier feminism” just like I don’t believe my kids need to be “healthy skeptics,” the general handling of all of these isms was really very good.
Bottom line for young moms: This book can help you get a handle on the big ideas competing for hearts and minds in our world today, and if you have kids in public school where they encounter these ideas early, or if one or more of your kids are 10+, it can equip you to practically start and navigate conversations with your children.
But if you only have little ones, there isn’t anything to do with this information yet other than to learn it yourself. Your young children primarily need you to do the normal (traditional) Christian things: pray with and for your children, read the bible to them, sing hymns and praise songs and scripture set to music, memorize key bible verses, learn to give instruction with loving patience, but also teach them to obey and to repent and to believe and trust in Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection. Love them and their father well, teaching them to be respectful by your example. Be faithful members of a biblically-solid local church. Love God and your neighbor. Live out your faith alongside your children and before them. Teach them ordinary life skills. All of the above, laid down little by little, is the best foundation you can give them. You’ve got time to learn and grow yourself in all of these things, so don’t parent scared. Be faithful in these “little” things, and when it comes time to tackle tough issues or formally teach your kids apologetics, trust the Lord that you’ll all be ready for it–and trust in the Lord that He will be there with you.
Proverbs 3:1-12
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Have you read Mama Bear Apologetics? What did you think? What was most helpful for you?
Kept and Keeping 