Category Archives: Living Faith

The Perfect Words

30 Monday Mar 2015

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Sometimes I find my mind won’t let go of a particular conversation. It keeps replaying in my head ad nauseum.

It was nearly six months ago. We had just met some folks and I so badly wanted to make a good first impression. I kept thinking ahead of time what I might say that would be kind, courteous, friendly, etc…the perfect words that would not be weird or awkward or otherwise scare off our potential new friends. But when the time came, I said something that didn’t come out the way I intended. And while I don’t think it really was a make-or-break kind of comment, it did make the situation a bit awkward, and in the aftermath I have thought numerous times how stupid of a comment it was and how I really goofed up the whole evening.

Being a perfectionist is hard sometimes, especially when you’re a perfectionist who loves language and precision but who fumbles so badly in real-life conversation (or at least I think I’ve bumbled badly…then again, that could just be the perfectionist in me talking).

So for some reason all of this resurfaced this morning, forcing me to eat my words yet again and relive the perceived shame and embarrassment of that moment. I sat on the couch wondering what hope there was for such a mess like me. One scripture came to mind: “Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God.” (Psalm 42:11) Yes, that was helpful. Hope in God. It’s the refrain I’ve been studying and which the Lord has been using to renew my heart in so many ways lately.

Yes. My words miss the mark. But God’s don’t. Hope in God.

Still, the weight was heavy.

After a few more moments of replayed conversation and renewed guilt, I remembered the words of the apostle James in the third chapter of his epistle: “For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well.” (James 3:2) What a comfort that even amidst all of James’ rather strong exhortation to use our tongues wisely, comes this statement of reality: we all stumble when we speak.

If I sin I know I have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus the Son of God who died for me and now intercedes on my behalf. But sometimes I’m weighted down not with a particular sin but with yet another haunting failure to live up to my own expectations, and my own expectations can be a harsh taskmaster. Even so, God’s word has hope for me. Even putting sin aside, I am not perfect, not so suave and eloquent as I’d like to be, not so in control…but my Heavenly Father is.

“Why are you in despair, O my soul? …Hope in God!”

“We all stumble in many ways.”

It seems that at times God is much more understanding of my less-than-perfect condition than I am: “For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust.” (Psalm 103:14)

My perfectionistic pride and imperfect performance may fling me down into despair, but God’s mercies are new every morning, and His grace lifts me up to new heights of love in His arms. And so my heart, troubled as it may sometimes be, can find rest and reassurance in the presence of my Savior. My words fall flat all the time. Only He has the perfect words—the words of life that speak truth, hope, and peace.

My New Years’ Resolutions

01 Thursday Jan 2015

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Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and turn away from evil. Proverbs 3:5-7

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when men cast insults at you, and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely, on account of Me. Rejoice, and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you. … Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 5:3-16

“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Matthew 6:33-34

“He must increase, but I must decrease.” John 3:30

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. 1 Corinthians 9:24

Let no one seek his own good, but that of his neighbor. 1 Corinthians 10:24

Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…
1 Corinthians 13:4-8

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23

…That Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fulness of God.
Ephesians 3:17-19

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you, and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma. Ephesians 5:1-2

Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men, but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father; and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. Ephesians 5:15-21

Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. Colossians 3:2

And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. And beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father. Colossians 3:12-17

Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men; knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve. Colossians 3:23-24

Encourage one another, and build one another up. … Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:11,16-18

Therefore, gird your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 1:13

…Let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. 1 Peter 3:4

To sum up, let all be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil, or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing. 1 Peter 3:8-9

But sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence… 1 Peter 3:15

Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you; but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing; so that also at the revelation of His glory, you may rejoice with exultation. 1 Peter 4:12-13

Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge; and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness; and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Peter 1:5-8

Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth. 1 John 3:18

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen. Jude 1:24-25

I have a feeling I will be “working” on these “resolutions” for the rest of my life.

The Grace of Grape Tomatoes

29 Monday Dec 2014

Posted by in Home and Family, Living Faith

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I was on my period. I hadn’t had enough to eat. It was about 11am, and I was at the grocery store with two little boys. We grabbed some bananas and carrots, and then I saw them: organic grape tomatoes. With the exception of one picky eater, my family enjoys snacking on these little red gems. So I picked up a package to examine it. Some of the tomatoes looked a bit wilted, so I placed it back on the temperature-controlled shelf and began to reach for another box.

And that’s when it happened. The box didn’t exactly like the way I had set it down, apparently, so in protest it decided to slowly lean forward until it fell to the ground, bouncing from cauliflower to lettuce to floor, where the box finally burst open, allowing over half of the precious fruit to scatter on the icky grocery store tile. Since there was no store clerk around to tell me, “Oh, it’s ok, I’ll take care of that,” I bent over and picked up every last tomato, closed up the box, and put it dutifully in my cart, with the words, “You break it you buy it,” spinning around in my head.

I thought at this point God was trying to teach me something: despite my being a bit of a grump about the whole thing, at least I did the right thing by picking them up and paying for the potentially damaged goods. But God wasn’t done with me yet, nor was He done with the grape tomatoes.

We meandered through the store, grabbing the things on my list (or was this the day that I went in for nothing more than peanut butter and made a list in my head as I shopped and ended up with half a basket full of groceries?), until we finally made it to the checkout line and then headed home.

My blood sugar levels were dropping by now and my muscles felt a bit weak. But we had to unload and put away the groceries before sitting down to eat lunch, so I got to it. I rearranged a few things in the fridge, managing to make room for the abundance of groceries I hadn’t planned on bringing home today (but when you’re out on Monday you might as well make the most of it and try to get what you need for the week so that by the time Thursday rolls around you can be at home doing something productive instead of having to go out to the store again, right?).

Then there they were, the last item to put away, those floor-germ-infested tomatoes. I figured I’d give them a preliminary rinsing off before putting them in the fridge using just water, until I thought better of it and pulled the vegetable cleaning spray out from under the sink. Spray, spray, spray. Toss, toss, toss. Rinse, rinse, rinse. That wasn’t so bad. Maybe I’ll just do this again before serving them so I feel confident that they’re clean.

And then it happened again. As I was turning toward the fridge, my limbs defied me and, after bumping into the refrigerator door, I dropped the box of tomatoes onto the floor…the kitchen floor that didn’t get cleaned last Friday like it was supposed to. And, sure enough, the box opened on impact and all those clean tomatoes went rolling on the floor, under the lip of the fridge, the oven, and the dishwasher.

I started to get angry. One of those less-than-justified “Why, God?!?” moments. But then I felt the tension in my clenched fists subside as I realized this was from His hand—not a curse, but an opportunity. An opportunity to see that I don’t have it all together. Not only am I not as physically in control as I’d like to be (hello, dropping the same box of tomatoes on the floor TWICE in the span of about 90 minutes), but neither do I really have things together emotionally or spiritually. I was ready to raise my fist at heaven, figuratively speaking, to whine and complain and throw a grown-up tantrum…over some tomatoes. Forget that I “did the right thing” in purchasing them at the store. I grumbled against the God of heaven. These tomatoes were simply a small chisel in the hand of a master craftsman, working to chip away at the hardened, bitter stone of my heart, in fact rebuking my self-righteousness by revealing to me that there was work to be done there at all.

On many occasions this kind of scrutiny, though private, would cause me to despair because I wasn’t living up to the perfect standard that I so desperately desire to meet. But in this instance, those tomatoes became a means of grace for me. As I washed them off again, with tears beginning to form in my eyes, I realized that Jesus came to save sinners. He came to die for sinners, to make them clean. And I am one. There is hope for me. There is grace for me, a sinner.

Like those tomatoes that needed washed yet again, so did I. What a joy that His gift of forgiveness, love, and cleansing is not given begrudgingly, as I grumbled at first to clean the tomatoes, but freely. In the very moment that I knew my sin and unworthiness, I also knew that “It is finished,” and I am redeemed, restored, and loved.

There are a lot more elaborate ways the Lord could choose to show me my sin and His love. But this simple little demonstration was sufficient to show that my attitude in such a small thing revealed big things about my heart. But “where sin abounded grace abounded all the more.” His mercy and grace are infinitely bigger than my sin. And so I thank God for the grace I found in an ornery package of grape tomatoes.

The Rich Young Ruler

28 Sunday Dec 2014

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From Luke 18:18-30

Hearing that the great Teacher was in his neighborhood, a rich young man comes to Jesus asking what he must do to inherit eternal life. Being a well-mannered man of high society, he begins this dialog politely by addressing Jesus as “Good teacher.”

Instead of commending him for his platitude, Jesus immediately recognizes the man as a flatterer.

“Why do you call Me good? There is no one who is good but God.” If this man calls Jesus good, whom the rich young ruler only sees as a mere man, a “good” teacher, Jesus can likely perceive that this man would be willing to call himself good. And that’s exactly where Jesus takes the discussion:

“You know the commandments…”

The young man could be beaming and hopeful at this point, “Yes, I have kept them from my youth!”

“What you lack is this: sell all your possessions, give to the poor, and come, follow Me.”

But the man goes away sad, because he owned much property. He’s just unwilling to let it go.

This rich young ruler came to Jesus asking what he could tack on to his self-professed squeaky-clean life in order to secure salvation for himself. Jesus pointed out to the man that it wasn’t something he could do, something he could add on, just one thing more for extra credit. What he lacked was the willingness to be lacking in possessions for the greater treasure of following Jesus—he was unwilling to let go.

Jesus basically told the guy, “He who does not forsake all to follow me cannot be my disciple.” “Deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow me.” “Store up for yourselves treasures in heaven.”

Certainly the good deed of giving to the poor was a good and right goal that Jesus put before the man, but it was also a device to reveal the man’s heart—he had not, in fact, kept all the commandments. He’d blundered the two most important ones. He didn’t love God or the poor, he loved his honor and his riches. He didn’t have faith in God, he had faith in his own assumed “goodness”.

I wonder if the man went on in self-righteousness after that point, or if Jesus’ words eventually opened his eyes to see that he wasn’t so good after all.

I wonder if he clung even more tightly to his wealth, bearing the misery of an old miser to his grave, or if he finally did let it go, embracing instead life and joy and peace with God.

I wonder if we will recognize our own tendency to love our stuff more than God, more than our neighbor.

I wonder if we will take the blinders off and see our own spiritual poverty, despite what material riches we may possess, and trade it in for the true riches Jesus offers to those who are humble enough to see their need of Him.

The Good Samaritan

04 Thursday Dec 2014

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From Luke 10:25-37

An expert in the Law of Moses came to Jesus and asked Him “What must I do to inherit eternal life?”

The Scripture says the man asked this question to test Jesus, and in accordance with His usual style in such situations, instead of answering the question Himself, Jesus asked the man what he thought: “What is written in the Law? How do you read it?” What tasteful conversation skills—allowing the expert to speak on his area of expertise. Well played, Jesus.

“’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’, and ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'”

“You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”

This was perhaps a brief moment of pride for the law expert—his conclusion had just been affirmed, after all. But he wanted to justify himself, the scripture says. So he asked this question: “Who is my neighbor?”

At this point, Jesus could have very easily just answered straightforwardly—“Well, anyone near you who is in need is your neighbor.” That is how we like to summarize Jesus’ parable of the Good Samaritan. But that’s not actually the point. Jesus never really answered the man’s question, despite the fact that the question itself does logically follow the train of thought of the command, “Love your neighbor”.

As Jesus tells the story of the Good Samaritan, it demonstrates that this expert in the law was asking the wrong question—and for the wrong reason.

Let’s read the story for ourselves in Luke 10:30-35:

A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half-dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. `Look after him,’ he said, `and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’

This scenario gives us one man who is hurt, and several men who interacted with him. If Jesus were directly answering the man’s question, he’d have set up a story in which one man is wondering who his neighbor is, and then has to choose between several options. Jesus turns the question on its head, demonstrating that obeying God by loving others doesn’t begin with my evaluation of their worthiness, but with my willingness to help anyone who is in need.

The priest and the Levite demonstrate the hearts of someone asking the wrong question—seeking to justify themselves, they’re the ones thinking, “Who is my neighbor? This man? No. I don’t know the man. Besides, I am important and must get to my important destination and do my important religious things for God. This man’s blood will defile me and make me late. I don’t have to help him—he’s not my neighbor. Perhaps someone else will help him.” Ah, the logic of self-justification, taking the word “neighbor” in God’s command and finding in it a loophole that allows selective obedience.

In contrast, we see a Samaritan come along and take pity on a man who is his social and political enemy—by no stretch of the imagination is this injured man his neighbor. The Jews despised Samaritans, and it’s likely the Samaritans returned the sentiment. This Samaritan, however, doesn’t seem to get tripped up with “Is this man my neighbor?” He simply sees a man in need. And then sees to it personally that those needs are met.

How does Jesus bring this lesson home for the man who sought to justify himself?

“Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”

Never mind the first question, Jesus is saying. Answer this question.

The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”

Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”

He Remains Faithful

11 Tuesday Nov 2014

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So often I’m confronted by my own lack of faithfulness.  To keep up with housecleaning, to keep up correspondence with precious old friends and family, to proactively train my children, to to keep up with finances, to write in my journal, to meditate on God’s word, to stick to a meal plan (or follow through with any plan, for that matter), to keep the things of the Lord at the front of my mind, to keep looking to Jesus as the greatest treasure of my life when I am faced with lesser things that vie for my attention.  And I have a tendency to become consumed with my failures, endlessly looking within until all I can see is my own inadequacies.  It’s a good recipe for discouragement.

IMG_4265Such was my state of mind the other morning as I sat out on our front porch, soaking in the early morning sunlight and breathing the crisp, cool air, trying to wake up enough to read my Bible before the boys awoke and demanded my attention.  Since we’d recently had some good rain, I could hear a quiet rush of water in our creek, the sound gentle but constant.  The birds, squirrels, and even a deer had all put on a small show for me.  Getting to see some of God’s curious creatures always seems a special gift to me that makes me smile.  Some relaxation and a smile was nice, but still I was carrying the weight of my own failures, my own lack of faithfulness.

I began to study the trees, now rich with colors of orange, red, green, and brown.  I love fall.  Every year.  Every … year … It struck me how faithful and constant the seasons are.  And how mankind has for all of his history depended upon them for survival, for sustenance.  All of the constants by which we measure time and number our days, the sun, moon, and stars, the day and night and seasons, these things are constant because they are made and upheld by the ultimate constant:  God.

Then God said, “Let there be lights in the expanse of the heavens to separate the day from the night, and let them be for signs and for seasons and for days and years; and let them be for lights in the expanse of the heavens to give light on the earth”; and it was so.   Genesis 1:14-15

He did good and gave you rains from heaven and fruitful seasons, satisfying your hearts with food and gladness.  Acts 14:17 

He [Christ] is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature, and upholds all things by the word of His power.  Hebrews 1:3

So many truths of Scripture poured into my head as I gazed upon the beautiful view of fall foliage on our own little slice of creation.  But most of all, I was struck by God’s constancy, His faithfulness, His utter dependability–especially now in contrast to my own lack of the same.  The God who created the heavens and the earth, who keeps this world spinning, who keeps the seasons coming, on whom we all depend whether we realize it or not–this unchangeable, trustworthy God has sent His Son to die in my place, wiping clean my record and crediting His faithfulness to my account.  He has called me His child, promised to never leave me nor forsake me, and has promised to return for me some day, righting all the wrongs and establishing His righteous kingdom forever.  Why do I despair over my own instability when I have such a Rock to lean on?

So often, blinded by my own self-reliance or self-loathing, I fail to hear creation screaming to me of God’s faithfulness (see Psalm 19).  The beautiful, constant, humbling reminder that all of creation–and even all of my salvation–depends first and foremost (and ultimately) upon God’s faithfulness and not my own.  Praise God.

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.
 
Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.
 
Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!
 
Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!